IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for everyone, including young people to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Saving
money
Use synonyms
 is very essential for
people
Use synonyms
’s
future
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the young generation. In my personal opinion, I strongly agree with that statement because saving
money
Use synonyms
 can oppose a high
inflation
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 and manage unexpected expenditures in the
future
Use synonyms
, especially for young adults. First and foremost,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
inflation
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 must be overcome by saving more
money
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
inflation
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 is relatively growing from time to time because it indicates that the price of the products is increasing.
For example
Linking Words
, the price of housing has climbed significantly for over 40 years,
hence
Linking Words
 youngsters without much savings will encounter difficulties in buying a house and choosing to rent it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 need to save
money
Use synonyms
 to reduce the struggle against the
inflation
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 which is rising significantly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, savings will be one of the possible solutions for everyone to overcome unexpected expenditures in the
future
Use synonyms
 including young adults. It is obviously caused by so much uncertainty in
this
Linking Words
 world that
people
Use synonyms
 will be faced daily,
hence
Linking Words
 unexpected moments can happen.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 get sick or have an accident and need to be hospitalized, it will cost more
money
Use synonyms
 beyond their daily needs.
Thus
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 should be saved for emergency spending that must be useful in the time ahead. In conclusion, budgeting and saving
money
Use synonyms
 are very crucial to youngsters’ bright
future
Use synonyms
 for two main reasons, namely protecting
money
Use synonyms
 against high
inflation
Use synonyms
 rates and mitigating
people
Use synonyms
's emergency spending in the
future
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure your thesis statement is as clear as possible in the introduction. It should directly state your opinion without ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
Revisit the second paragraph for minor grammatical inaccuracies. While they don't impede understanding, refining your grammar will perfect your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear, well-structured argument, with each paragraph contributing to the overall response.
coherence cohesion
Each point made is well-supported with examples, enhancing the argument's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Strong conclusion that summarizes the key points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: