Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, the objective of learning materials in educational institutions
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
topical since some individuals argue that
this
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activity is a way to internalize good values in their personalities and give impactful contributions to others.
In contrast
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, some people have a different point of view since
this
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only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
an upbringing for preparing
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
future. To
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
Linking Words
Change preposition
to this
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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aforementioned arguments, I significantly agree that studying in schools gives more benefits for the pupils regarding their career by providing knowledge and essential
skills
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. Graduating from university and gaining several understanding
are
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is
show examples
crucial to give positive developments back to society since the individuals are
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
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about some related problems
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be done in some areas.
Therefore
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, by
valuable
Correct article usage
the valuable
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skills
Use synonyms
they have, graduates contribute some actions for reaching
better
Add an article
a better
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quality of
lives
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life
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.
For instance
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, In the past, Thomas Alfa Edison, an incredible scientist, found a tool for producing electricity
ulilized
Correct your spelling
utilized
utilised
by worldwide consumers.
However
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,
this
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statement is misunderstood since being
contributive
Correct article usage
a contributive
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people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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can be done without learning subjects,
such
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as providing a lot of money for local people to invest or just helping them solve their obstacles.
In contrast
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, a bright career requires a deep knowledge
for
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of
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specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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field related to
Correct article usage
the company
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company
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company's
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needs and various
skills
Use synonyms
for
finising
Correct your spelling
finishing
projects. Both of them are gained without completing profound
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
show examples
and getting grades. In
this
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recent era, all companies have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tight
reqirements
Correct your spelling
requirements
to
destinct
Correct your spelling
distinguish
the offering from various candidates.
Therefore
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, they will be more selective and choose the highest score for specific subjects
along with
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the
skills
Use synonyms
needed.
To sum up
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, even though
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
from schools
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to
give
Verb problem
have
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positive aspects
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
communities,
however
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, the reason for pursuing education is to prepare themselves for gaining a better future
carier
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
since knowledge and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
though
Rephrase
apply
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from school
is
Verb problem
apply
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a mandatory for being accepted.
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coherence cohesion
Clarify complex sentences by breaking them into simpler sentences for better readability and comprehension. This will also help avoid misunderstandings.
supported main points
Ensure all main points in the essay are well supported with detailed examples and explanations. This helps strengthen your argument and provides clarity.
task achievement
Use varied and precise vocabulary to better express ideas and arguments. This will enhance the effectiveness and sophistication of your writing.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents both perspectives, setting up the discussion effectively.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the mention of Thomas Edison, which help support the points made.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the essay effectively, reinforcing the writer's viewpoint and the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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