When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sport facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sport #facilities #centers #people #time

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Public

corncern

Correct your spelling

concern

concerns

regarding a plan to develop new cities which was announced to the public becomes topical since many individuals argue that constructing more public areas and facilitating them with sport amenities are more critical than building

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping districts. To

response

Replace the word

respond

show examples

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

aforementioned issue, I significantly agree that the government should construct more open parks

along with

Linking Words

exercise

fasilities

Correct your spelling

facilities

due to

Linking Words

a positive development for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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and

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

. Public parks with complete

sport

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sports

show examples

facilities have several benefits for society including mental well-being and good health. People often go to the park with their extended family just

for escaping

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to escape

show examples

from their complicated days.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

park

equip

Change the verb form

equips

show examples

them to get relaxation in order to reduce their stress.

In addition

Linking Words

, not only working for mental issues,

this

Linking Words

space

also

Linking Words

contributes to

maintain

Change the verb form

maintaining

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

good level of healthiness as the gym tools are provided.

Therefore

Linking Words

, people can utilize them for exercising and gaining the appropriate weight. The ideal body leads to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

healtier

Correct your spelling

healthier

person, preventing them from chronic diseases,

such

Linking Words

as diabetes and cardiovascular.

In addition

Linking Words

, not only gaining individual fitnesses

Remove the comma

apply

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but open areas and its facilities

also

Linking Words

enable the municipal raising the quality of

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

area consists

enormous

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of enormous

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trees which can produce a lot of

oxigen

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oxygen

supply.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they can

absord

Correct your spelling

absorb

carbon dioxides and emissions

resulted

Wrong verb form

resulting

show examples

Change preposition

from

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individual and industrial activities.

Hence

Linking Words

, declining heat temperature will be reached and the level of air quality beneath the surface can be improved.

To sum up

Linking Words

inclining

Verb problem

increasing

show examples

number

Correct article usage

the number

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of open arenas for citizens and

equiping

Correct your spelling

equipping

equip

them with fitness

stuffs

Correct your spelling

staff

show examples

gain

impresive

Correct your spelling

impressive

results since they level down stress and keep society healthy,

along with

Linking Words

improving

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

Submitted by wiwitrahayu.ptplnnp on Sun Jan 12 2025

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Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, though there may be subtle areas where clarity could be improved, such as by refining some of your phrasing.

Relevant Specific Examples

Using more specific examples to support your arguments will strengthen your essay. Consider including some real-world examples or comparisons.

Introduction Conclusion Present

The essay has a clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.

Supported Main Points

The main ideas are well-supported with logical arguments that contribute to the essay's overarching view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sport facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sport which are played in teams, like footbool, while other people think that taking part in individuals sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?