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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it is a better way to go abroad to work or study, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #work #study #country #choice
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Nowadays, some people consider studying or working overseas to be a better option,
whereas
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 others prefer living in their hometown. In
this
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 essay , I will explore both viewpoints and explain why I believe the latter is better.
It is clear that
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 going abroad has many advantages. First of all, people who earn their living or pursue academic degrees can typically get acquainted with diverse peers.
As a result
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, the exchange of knowledge
as well as
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 perspectives will help them to broaden their horizons.
Secondly
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, individuals are accessible to far more job openings if they do not limit themselves to staying in their original nations.
For example
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, many of my close friends who pursued a master's degree in computer science in the US easily found a decent job right after graduation
due to
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 the larger demand of the local job market.
However
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, living abroad is expected to experience culture shock to some extent.
For example
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, when I enrolled in a summer camp aiming at boosting my English speaking skills in Thailand
last
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 year, I had difficulties
in
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apply
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adapting to the local weather and foods.
In addition
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, some gestures they used to communicate daily contained improper meaning in Taiwan, which confused me greatly at the beginning. The main reason that I prefer staying in the place where I was born is because most of my family members and friends are all here. As a person who regards relationships with others as the first priority, I stick to hanging out with them frequently. In conclusion, staying overseas has many advantages, but I still prefer staying in my hometown
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task achievement
Consider providing more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are equally developed and supported throughout the essay. This will improve the comprehensive presentation of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps in maintaining coherence throughout the piece.
task achievement
The task response is complete and addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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