IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

ome people think that government should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#ome #people #government #money #railways #investment #roads
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that
railways
Add a verb
railways are
railways were
show examples
 more necessary than
roads
Use synonyms
. Now people are begging to realise that governments should spend money on railways rather than
roads
Use synonyms
. Personally, I tend to think that it
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 to maintain balance.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is well known that all over the world goods and things are transported through the railways. What I mean here is that, if it increases the
railway
Use synonyms
 transportation will be more efficient and cheaper. At that time there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 a lot of problems happening on
Use synonyms
railway
Add an article
the railway
show examples
 the same with
roads
Use synonyms
,
cause of
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 problems
due to
Linking Words
 poor quality of construction and it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be more reasonable
allocate
Fix the infinitive
to allocate
show examples
 money for
this
Linking Words
 and that. A good case in point is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China, there, construction goes faster and they manage to do everything, but they stand out because of low quality. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, it can
also
Linking Words
 be argued that the government will spend large sums from the budget for
this
Linking Words
, and they can at least spend a pittance on
roads
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
 they will not pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the railway
a railway
show examples
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many of them
built
Add a missing verb
were built
show examples
 in
18th
Change the article
the 18th
show examples
 century and to
this
Linking Words
 day they stand in their places. Take
for example
Linking Words
, in Russia the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
railway
Use synonyms
 was constructed in
19th
Change the article
the 19th
show examples
 century and remained motionless
due to
Linking Words
 wars,
while
Linking Words
 in England
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 still
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 annually. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that it will be much
greater
Correct word choice
better
show examples
 to pay attention
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
, combine the budget and build them both.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task response
To enhance clarity, aim to refine your thesis statement and make clear links between paragraphs.
task response
Try to develop your arguments further, providing more details and perhaps contrasting points specifically related to current transportation issues.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay paragraphs with clearer transitions using connecting words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contributes a new or expanded point on the topic, helping maintain a smoother flow.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up the discussion, suggesting a balanced approach to transportation funding.
task response
You provided relevant examples, such as those related to the transportation systems in China and Russia, which support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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