IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

ome people think that government should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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One of the widely discussed issues currently is the comparison between rail and road transport. Now
people
Use synonyms
 are beginning to realize that both of them are necessary in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Personally,
i
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I
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 tend to consider that
railways
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 like public transport more convenient for
people
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 and
also
Linking Words
 for
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government
Add an article
the government
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. In
this
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 essay
i
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I
show examples
 tend to maintain
government
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 should spend money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
railways
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 rather than
roads
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.
Firstly
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, it is generally known that the use of
railways
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 is safer for residents than
roads
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, which guarantee safe movement from one destination to another. I mean, nowadays there are many accidents happening on the
roads
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 all over the world, which is causing the death of many
people
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, which is the main problem of the 21st century.
Additionally
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, statistics show that many
people
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 die in car accidents around the world every day, which shows why the
government
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 does not spend money on
roads
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. The train is a safer and more comfortable mode of transport, which is a major factor for the
government
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 to maintain
balance
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a balance
the balance
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 between
people
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 and their
lifestyle
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lifestyles
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, every person should take care of the environment and avoid using certain harmful items
such
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 as
cars
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. The use of
cars
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 in everyday life leads to environmental pollution
that is
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 irreversible.Today, every second person uses a car all over the world; even several families have two or more
cars
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, which are considered unnecessary. The increase in the number of
cars
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 causes air pollution in nature, which in turn causes global warming, a major problem for the environment. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that
government
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 should spend money on
railways
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 rather than
roads
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, giving examples above.

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task achievement
Work on providing more balanced arguments for both sides of the discussion to strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples to support your points and demonstrate their relevance to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, enhancing the flow and transition within the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, effectively setting the context for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reaffirms your position on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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