Smoking Tobacco is becoming increasingly popular among young people with potentially serious effects on their healths. Explain some reasons for this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

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One of the widely discussed problems nowadays is smoking in society, which is a disease of the 21st century. It cannot be denied that smoking has become an integral part of our lives. In
this
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essay, I will look at some of the factors that cause smoking and how we can reduce smoking in society. One of the main factors that causes smoking is stress. it is the result of our daily life, in which there are many factors that cause stress.
for example
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, traffic jams, hard work hours,
as well as
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everyday problems in the family that make
people
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smoke.
they
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They
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think that the only way to escape all stress is by smoking, which encourages a large number of
people
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to smoke.Another main reason is the availability of smoking.
This
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means low prices and smoking areas. All over the
world
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world,
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we can see
people
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smoking in public places, which shows that smoking is accessible, so
people
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smoke more.
People
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should take care of their health and stop smoking themselves. Statistics show that many
people
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in the world have died from lung cancer, which is one of the causes of smoking, so they should consciously avoid smoking. If they find it difficult,
then
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the government should protect its residents by enacting a no-smoking law in public places and selling to
people
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under 25, and no smoking after nine in the evening until ten in the morning.
In addition
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, the government should increase the tax on those who sell
this
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product, which will be the key to solving the problem. In conclusion, the government should implement high taxes on
a
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apply
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tobacco companies and implement a total ban on smoking in
the
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apply
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public.
This
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is to eliminate the health problems brought about by smoking.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task fairly well, identifying key reasons for smoking among young people and suggesting solutions. However, more detailed and specific examples could enhance the response further.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, the progression of ideas could be smoother. Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each point is well-supported with specific details or examples. This will strengthen your argument and coherence in the response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which aids in readability and understanding.
task achievement
The reasons for smoking and suggested solutions are relevant to the topic and addressed within the essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover multiple aspects of the issue such as stress, availability, and legal solutions, which contributes to task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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