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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is said that the amount of violence on the TV programs has negative effect on our social development and therefore should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#amount #violence #tv #programs #effect #development
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The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in violent
programs
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 published on television channels, leading to adverse impacts on societal behaviours.
This
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 raises a certain question about diminishing these contents or not. In
this
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 essay, I tend to argue that they should be limited. The reasons for
this
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 are as follows. First of all, broadcasting
programs
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 with the content of violence pave the way for generalizing
such
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 behaviours in
society
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. Most people have an educational attitude towards TV shows; Meanwhile, depicting violent scenes makes them an ordinary and typical treatment, leading to their acceptance by
society
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 members in the long term.
For instance
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, the Terminator film where the role model uses a gun and kills people to achieve his goals immediately could intrigue audiences to do the same in real life.
In addition
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 to generalizing violence, it could increase offences in
society
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,
consequently
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.
On the other hand
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, exhibiting violent
programs
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 could increase chaos and insecurity in communities.
Due to
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 a psychological principle, teaching or learning by videos is one of the most efficient ways.
Hence
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, displaying aggressive content with even exciting scenes results in learning violence unconsciously and implementing it.
According to
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 research, watchers of action films tend to behave harshly, 50% more compared to the fans of comedy films. Having learned these sorts of treatments,
thus
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, people are more likely to resort to bullying in their daily lives.
Moreover
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, continuing
this
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 trend could substitute for human behaviours like kindness or being generous. In conclusion, I think producing violent
programs
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 should be declined;
otherwise
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, they could intensify social challenges.
Furthermore
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, if governments wish to have a tranquil
society
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, they should persuade the TV industry to produce milder
programs
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.
Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all supporting points are explicitly linked back to the main argument for better cohesion.
task achievement
Although ideas are clear, consider varying sentence structures to increase clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively reinforce the main argument.
task achievement
The main argument is well-addressed with relevant examples, adding depth to the discussion.
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