It is said that the amount of violence on TV programmes has negative effects on our social development and therefore should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, it is undeniable that

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has various

programs

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to entertain

society

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however

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not a few of those

programs

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contain violence which has negative impacts on our

society

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's improvement. I firmly assert that those

programs

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should be reduced since they can be affected by social welfare.

This

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essay will examine some of the negative impacts that might be released

due to

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violence on

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programmes.

To begin

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with, Television has a significant role in

society

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, some people watch

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in their leisure time to relax, to kill boredom, or just for entertainment. research by Influencer 2023, mentioned that about 80% of every home has its own

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. In fact, some

programs

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give drawbacks to individuals' improvements, some of them make

programs

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as their assault references practically in real life, which leads to inconvenience in

society

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For example

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, action

movies

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which contain some strategies are very popular and many people like to watch them, in fact, a terrorist can adopt the strategies to compile his/her plan.

Additionally

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, parents usually utilize

movies

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programs

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as a tool to keep their

children

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calm, but unfortunately,

children

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need full control from their parents to consume the

movies

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. If parents are not wise in selecting what kind of

movies

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children

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should watch, it might lead to the wrong development characters of

children

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For instance

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,if a young child at 6 age continues to consume a crime movie for a long time period it will totally impact how the way a child thinks, acts and wants to be in future.

Therefore

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, to reduce crimes in real life,

programs

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which contain violence should be banned.

To sum up

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, even though commonly people consume

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programmes as entertainment which bring positive impacts on reducing stress,

however

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, some

programs

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may trigger some negative attitudes in

society

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which leads to an increase a crime.

Thus

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, a stack holder should make a good decision and make some regulations regarding releasing a programme to the public.

golriiz.azizi1991Sun Jan 12 2025

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples or studies to support your arguments, especially with regard to the impact of violent TV programs.

language use

Improve the precision of your word choice and grammatical accuracy for a more polished essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction that presents the main argument effectively, and a conclusion that neatly summarizes your points.

task achievement

You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both the potential negative impacts of violent TV programs and suggesting the need for regulation.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical structure to your essay, moving from discussing general impacts to specific examples, which helps the reader follow your arguments.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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