IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#feel #country #time #points
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Few people think that growing an economy and maintaining a clean environment cannot be done simultaneously,
while
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 some peers disapprove of
this
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 view. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion, supported by relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, it is evident that developing nations often contribute significantly to pollution
due to
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 industrial activities. Factories produce waste and frequently dispose of impurities in water bodies, leading to environmental degradation.
For instance
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, reports from The New York Times indicate that air quality in many developing nations is severely affected by industrial emissions, with toxic gases contributing to 70% more pollution compared to other countries.
On the other hand
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, countries can adopt sustainable practices
such
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 as recycling waste, reusing materials, and minimizing processes that lead to waste.
For example
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, a local cola company in China shared on Twitter how they recycle cans and bottles to create new ones. They
also
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 encourage customers to return empty packaging to stores so it can be sent to factories for recycling.
This
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 initiative demonstrates how businesses can contribute to environmental sustainability
while
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 continuing to grow. In my opinion, environmental preservation should be prioritized even if it means slowing down economic advancements. If we do not address environmental issues, we risk depleting the resources necessary for future development.
Therefore
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, sustainability should be an integral part of our growth strategies.
To sum up
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,
while
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 economic growth presents challenges to the environment, sustainable practices can help bridge the gap between development and environmental preservation. It is crucial for nations to balance these aspects to ensure a healthy and prosperous future.
Submitted by hoenytoor on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph is linked logically to the next for seamless reading. Some of the transitions could be more explicit.
Task Achievement
Try to deepen the explanation of how sustainable practices specifically contribute to both economic growth and environmental care.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that appropriately frame the discussion.
Task Achievement
You have used relevant examples to highlight both viewpoints effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay remains focused on the main issue, with coherent progression of ideas throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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