IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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the increase in consumption of ready-to-eat
food
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 has helped people with the race of modern lifestyle. There are several
advantages
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 of
this
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such
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 as helping busy people with quick
meals
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 and the variety of choices of prepared
meals
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.
However
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, I believe that it has many drawbacks that outweigh and can not be ignored, including damage to both health and the environment. On the one hand, one major advantage of convenience
food
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 is saving time and effort. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other words, workers easily have these
meals
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 during their working hours, Which helps in case they do not have enough time to cook, especially for those who work two jobs. Another key benefit is that
food
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 companies provide various dishes, which are suitable for all tastes and preferences.
For example
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, Costa Cafe is known for serving
meals
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 for vegetarians and vegans.
However
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,
i
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I
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 think these
advantages
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 are less important than the drawbacks.
On the other hand
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, one of the main disadvantages of ready-to-eat
food
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 is the direct association with health diseases,
This
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 is because pre-packaged
food
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 is rich in fat and sugar which leads to an increased chance of chronic diseases.
Moreover
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, often these
meals
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 contain unrecycled parts in the packaging, which raises environmental problems, particularly in some unaware societies.
In addition
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, the reliance on convenience
food
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 reduces the consumption of fresh
food
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, which leads to an unhealthy lifestyle, and
i
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I
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 believe that. In conclusion,
although
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 the
advantages
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 of pre-packaged
food
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 include helping those who do not have time and the variety of options for prepared
meals
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, I think that its disadvantages
such
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 as damage to both health and the environment outweigh the
advantages
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and support your points. This will provide additional evidence and can make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Try to further develop some of the ideas to ensure clearer and more comprehensive presentation. For instance, explaining how convenience foods lead to lifestyle changes or providing statistics on health impacts could enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to use varied and sophisticated linking words to further improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, and the points are generally presented in a coherent and cohesive manner.
task achievement
You address the advantages and disadvantages effectively, which demonstrates a good level of understanding of the task prompt.
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