IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

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There has been a debate recently about many harmful contents on the
internet
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. Some might say that the
government
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 should mitigate the risk by censoring the content of websites. I personally believe that the bad outcomes could be prevented with it as one of the solutions. In
this
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 essay, I will explain more about the topic. To start with, the most affected individuals by harmful content would be children. As a matter of fact, the number of underage porn nowadays is undeniable.
For instance
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, there are many children who have started masturbating from an early age. The biggest possibility is they may not know the risk of masturbating.
Additionally
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, many kids are speaking inappropriate words.
Therefore
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, I fully support censoring the content of websites on the
internet
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. There are many things that can be avoided with a safe
internet
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.
On the contrary
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, I do not think that the authorities should entirely control the
information
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 available on the
Internet
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. Especially, adult individuals should be able to browse the
internet
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 freely. In my opinion, controlled
information
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 should only be applied to the underage. As an example, some phones already have a feature of 'kids mode'. So that, the guardians can let their kid use the phone safely but still be accompanied by constant surveillance.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that not everyone should be given controlled
information
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 by the
government
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 In conclusion, I personally agree that the
government
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 should control
information
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 on the
internet
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 to make it a safe place for children. Adults ,
on the other hand
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, should have the freedom to browse.
However
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, the
government
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 can raise public awareness of scams, hoaxes, and other bad
internet
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 examples.

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task achievement
Strengthen the use of specific examples and evidence to support your points. The example of underage exposure to inappropriate content could be expanded with data or more detailed scenarios.
task achievement
Improve the balance of the argument. While you mention that adult freedom should be maintained, providing examples of this balance in action or potential outcomes could add depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs for a more fluid reading experience. Some sections can be linked more clearly for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You clearly state your position on the topic, providing a solid response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Censorship
  • Freedom of expression
  • Hate speech
  • Misinformation
  • Extremism
  • Regulations
  • Cyberbullying
  • Self-regulation
  • Transparency
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Algorithms
  • Digital culture
  • Personal freedoms
  • Illegal content
  • Internet safety
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