In many countries children are engaged in some kid of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong,while other consider it as valuabl work .what is your opinion?

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In numerous nations, minors participate in various forms of remunerated employment. some would say
this
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is utterly wrong.
while
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others view it as a beneficial opportunity to gain practical
experience
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. I concur with the latter perspective and will demonstrate that.
Although
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there are some worries regarding its impact on education, early employment can significantly contribute to personal development. it is frequently contended that employment before the age of eighteen is inappropriate, as it can negatively affect a child's academic performance.
this
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argument stems from the fact that young individuals face to excel in their studies, and taking on a job may limit the time available for academic pursuits.
for instance
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, a study conducted by a UK-based children's charity revealed that students engaged in part-time
work
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were less likely to attain top grades Compared to their non-working peers.
nevertheless
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, I am of the opinion that the skills and life lessons gained through early
work
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experience
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are invaluable. getting a part-time job contributes towards children's character development it instills the importance of hard
work
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and introduces them to the realities of the workforce, where they gain practical knowledge beyond what is taught in the classroom.
this
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experience
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can
also
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foster a stronger
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ethic and greater discipline in their academic life.
for instance
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, a teenager working part-time in a restaurant over the weekend can develop valuable interpersonal skills
while
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maintaining a satisfactory academic performance.
for
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this
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reason, I believe that concerns regarding the negative impact of
work
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on education are unfounded . In conclusion, despite apprehensions that children may neglect their studies if they are required to
work
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, I contend that gaining some
work
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experience
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at a young age can play a crucial role in shaping their character
Submitted by amalsamsar1997 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in punctuation, such as capitalizing the first letter of sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or studies to enhance the argument.
task achievement
Elaborate on both perspectives before concluding with your own view to provide a more balanced discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your perspective and sets the stage for your argument.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, demonstrating a comprehensive approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure of the essay with clear paragraphs dedicated to each point.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and the key points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • time management
  • financial literacy
  • economic necessity
  • less economically developed
  • additional income
  • ethical concerns
  • exploitation
  • unsafe working conditions
  • physical and mental well-being
  • rights protected
  • balance
  • light, age-appropriate employment
  • education or leisure time
  • primary responsibilities
  • legal and ethical considerations
  • child labor laws
  • voluntary
  • age-appropriate
  • children's development
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