Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #music #business #sites #internet #threat #industry

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Recently, illegal

music

Use synonyms

sites

Use synonyms

' problems have become more serious to the

music

Use synonyms

industry and they can disrupt the

music

Use synonyms

business hugely. They believe more actions are needed to be done to stop them from operating. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain some reasons behind

this

Linking Words

statement on why should we agree or disagree with them and will

further

Linking Words

give my perspective in the conclusion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, these illegal

music

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sites

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can harm the producers of the

music

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. They will feel disrespected because of the efforts they have made to make

music

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While

Linking Words

they hope to get money and popularity from their songs, these illegal

sites

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prevent them from getting it. They will not get any money, royalty,

as well as

Linking Words

the chance to perform on stage.

For example

Linking Words

, the estimated loss

happen

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to the Kangen Band, one of my country's famous bands, is amounting

almost

Change preposition

to almost

show examples

10 billion.

This

Linking Words

happened because many of their fans bought the songs from illegal

music

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sites

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, so their

music

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label did not get income.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the regulation for

this

Linking Words

issue is so soft to the offender. The government should be more aware and make more impactful moves to overcome the threat. They can increase the punishment so the offenders will think twice about doing that again.

For instance

Linking Words

, the punishment that may work is putting them in jail for maybe 10-15 years and

also

Linking Words

fining them as much as the victim's loss. In summary, there are many issues coming from these illegal activities and some recommended options to stop or at least minimize them. I strongly believe that the illegal

music

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sites

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should be fought more, we as a people and the governments as the regulators.

Submitted by dorima on Tue Jan 14 2025

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task achievement

Expand on points to give a more comprehensive answer to the task prompt. You could delve deeper into the consequences of illegal music sites on the music industry and legal measures currently in place.

coherence cohesion

Some transitions between points could be smoother to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Using linking words more effectively can help achieve this.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly introduces the topic and provides a conclusion that summarizes the main points and offers a personal stance.

task achievement

The use of a specific example (Kangen Band) supports the argument and makes the point more tangible.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

intellectual property
piracy
copyright infringement
revenue loss
digital rights management (DRM)
streaming platforms
illegal downloads
file sharing
economic impact
ethical considerations
music royalties
legislation
consumer ethics
affordable alternatives
music industry sustainability
emerging artists
legitimate sources
pirated content
distribution platforms
technological countermeasures

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Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep? #people #difficulties

Nowadays there is a trend of rapid increase in already excessive use of natural resources such as oil, forest and freshwater. What dangers does it bring? what are the possible solutions to address these issues?