Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #care #education #theaters #sports #stadiums

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Nowadays, there is a controversial subject, many

people

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argue that the government should only invest in medical care and

education

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fields, but the government should not spend money

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theatres

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on theatres

show examples

and

sports

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stadiums. I agree

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with

show examples

this

Linking Words

view because

theatres

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and

sports

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facilities should be in private business

due to

Linking Words

some problems.

This

Linking Words

view will be discussed in the following essay.

To begin

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with,

health

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and

education

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are basic human rights

therefore

Linking Words

, they should be accessible and free.

Governments

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must invest in these fields and giant allocate funds because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

they are very expensive. If

education

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and

health

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management by private businesses,

this

Linking Words

situation can lead to distinctions between rich and poor which way might increase polarization in society

however

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, If

governments

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fund these rights, there is no injustice and

people

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do not feel inequal of income in the society.

For instance

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, the private

sector

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increasing in my country, especially in

education

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and

health

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spaces.

Due to

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this

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change,

people

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prefer the private

sector

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since the

education

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and

health

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system are better than the public

sector

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but, nearly 60% of

people

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work with minimum wage in my country

therefore

Linking Words

, many

people

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are not use

Change the verb form

are not using

are not used

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

private

sector

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and

this

Linking Words

situation bears class hierarchy in the

socity

Correct your spelling

society

On the other hand

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same

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

people

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support that

governments

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should not spend money

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theatres

Change preposition

on theatres

show examples

and

sports

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stadiums. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

view is true because there is a pyramid of needs and the entertainment

sector

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is not the main need. In advancing countries

governments

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cannot spend money on every

sector

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so, private sectors can be beneficial options to

governments

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thus

Linking Words

, they may take the financial burden off

governments

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Furthermore

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, the private

sector

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leads to competition and employers struggle for better work in society.

To sum up

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, even though there are a lot of benefits of the private

sector

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, they should not enter all territory because some zones are mainly for human rights and all

people

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must use them easily

however

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, in some fields might take economic pressure from

governments

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such

Linking Words

as,

theatres

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and

sports

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stadiums. I strongly believe that

governments

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should not invest in every

sector

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and that the private

sector

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is a good option.

Submitted by duygulaleoglu on Tue Jan 14 2025

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coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea to enhance logical structure.

coherence cohesion

Try to maintain a clear flow of ideas and improve the logical progression between points.

task achievement

Address counterarguments or limitations in your essay to show a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and maintains this stance throughout.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument, giving the essay a clear structure.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your main points, such as the explanation of the situation in your country.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens, and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people feel that we have made quite enough progress in the field of medicine. Others however feel that we have to go an extra mile in this field. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home and work. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are bet or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinio