Some people think that children should not watch television as it has negative effects while some people believe that they should watch television as it helps them in their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
modern era, Watching television
helps children to gather knowledge from all over the world by sitting at home while
other masses think that it is a negative trend as it affects their eyes and physical health
.we will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraph.According to
my opinion, it has a negative effect on toddlers.
To commence with, the positive aspect is that toddlers can learn anything from television
just by watching which is easy for them to remember.To elaborate , Smart television
comes with the
different channels Correct article usage
apply
such
as wildlife,discovery ,smart classes for teenager
and yoga classes which help them to acquire different kinds of data.These days even some schools are introducing smart classes because they believe that children learn faster just by watching rather than reading.Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
For example
,according to
a report by Oxford University today
youngsters are more smarter and successful than kids in past.Add a comma
today,
Thus
, it is a positive trend for them to build a strong future.
On the other side, the negative aspect is that it has effect
on their eyes and physical Add an article
an effect
health
.To explicate , television
produces UV(ultra-violet) radiation which is bad for the eyes due to
which chances of losing eyesight get higher and sitting all day at home eating and watching television
has an impact on physical health
such
as fatigue. For instance
, the report conducted by WHO(World Health
Organization) indicates that today kids are physically and mentally weak
than past.Replace the word
weaker
Hence
, watching more than they need is a negative trend because physical and mental health
is also
important.
In conclusion, Watching television
plays a vital role in their growth whereas
they need to concentrate on their physical Correct word choice
and
health
.In my view, these days physical and mental health
is very important for growth so children need to participate in games and other activities rather than just sitting and watching which leads to many ill-ness
Correct your spelling
illnesses
such
as stress,obesity and fatigue.Submitted by dilpreetsingh7049 on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that both sides of the argument are discussed more evenly. This will demonstrate a thorough examination of the topic. Additionally, your personal opinion should be clearly integrated into the body paragraphs, not just the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the transitions between points to make the essay flow more smoothly. Instead of saying 'To commence with' or 'On the other side,' consider phrases that more naturally connect ideas. Make sure each paragraph logically follows the previous one.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your discussion. This helps in maintaining a coherent argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay generally stays on topic and addresses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the requirements of the task. Relevant examples are provided to support the main points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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