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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and gie your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #gie
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Some individuals believe that doctors and engineers must
work
 in the
country
 where they are trained .
While
 others do not accept that and believe they might have the chance to
work
 in another
country
 if they want. In my opinion, medicine and engineering students can
work
 wherever they want if they have enough requirements. Working in your own
country
 where you have trained
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
has several reasons.
Firstly
, if you
work
 in your
country
, you will be able to communicate much more easily with your clients
due to
 the fact that everyone understands you in your mother tongue.
Secondly
, most of the references and books in universities and high schools have been written in local languages,
hence
, other
countries
 might not accept that someone did not read their references.
For instance
, I had studied biology for three years and most of the biological words
such
 as cells and human body’s parts, had been changed to the Persian language,
thus
, when I wanted to apply to another university in Germany, they told me I have to read all the high-school biology again because I did not read it in the German language.
Finally
, the way of the educational system might be different from
country
 to
country
,
therefore
, it might be better to study and
work
 in your own
country
. It is absolutely true that other
countries
 must give professionals a chance to
work
 in their lands.
Due to
 the fact that some
countries
 might suffer from a lack of professionals
such
 as nurses or doctors, they have to give immigrants a chance and opportunity to
work
 in their places to restore their forces.
In addition
, the educational system in some
countries
 might be harder and better than other ones,
thus
, students which was graduated from these
countries
 might get more experience and knowledge than other
countries
.
Overall
,
although
 some people believe that professionals must
work
 in their own
country
, others believe that they are free to make their own decisions.
Submitted by amirkasrajahanmiri on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear, concise introduction that succinctly presents the essay's argument and outlines the points you plan to discuss. Your introduction should engage the reader and make your stance clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the flow of your essay. While your essay is generally cohesive, varying your transitions can make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points of your argument in a clear and persuasive manner. Ensure your personal stance is reiterated strongly, reflecting on the evidence and argumentation provided in the body.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and details to support your arguments. While your essay includes examples, further elaborating on these or adding more can provide additional clarity and impact to your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Watch for occasional grammatical errors and work on sentence structure to enhance clarity and professionalism. While these errors are minor, refining them will improve the overall quality of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homegrown expertise
  • return on investment
  • critical sectors
  • global exchange
  • career opportunities
  • international skill gaps
  • cultural understanding
  • diversity
  • balance
  • international exchange programs
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