even though doctors all over the world agree that fast food is bad for people's health, more and more people are eating it. why are people eatig fast food? what can be done about this problem?
Nowadays, more
andmore
Correct your spelling
and more
peoplecannot
leave fast Correct your spelling
people cannot
people cannot
food
even Use synonyms
thought
we know that they are not Correct your spelling
though
benifit
for our health. fast Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
food
like Use synonyms
hambourgers
, cakes and deep fried meant can lead Correct your spelling
hamburgers
problems
Change preposition
to problems
such
as Linking Words
over weight
, Correct your spelling
overweight
diabete
Correct your spelling
diabetes
as well as
high Linking Words
cholestrol
. Correct your spelling
cholesterol
This
is why everyone should be more and more aware of not being addicted Linking Words
on
it.
One of the major reasons why Change preposition
to
people
are Use synonyms
eatig
fast Correct your spelling
eating
food
is that they Use synonyms
aretoo
easy to get. fast Correct your spelling
are too
food
Use synonyms
could
be found all over Wrong verb form
can
Use synonyms
hong
Correct your spelling
Hong Kong
kong
, Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
macdolnals
Correct your spelling
MacDonald
cafe
de Capitalize word
Cafe
coral
and Capitalize word
Coral
jollibee
. Change the capitalization
Jollibee
Image
that you are Add an article
The image
An image
hungry
Change the adjective
hungrily
looking
for some Correct word choice
and looking
food
on the street, what comes to your eyes are these fast Use synonyms
food
brands, with tempting advertising posters Use synonyms
draging
Correct your spelling
dragging
people
with empty Use synonyms
stamachas
to give it a try. How could we refuse Correct your spelling
stomachs
to
Change preposition
apply
those attractiveness
?
More importantly, Change the determiner
that attractiveness
more
affordable price is key. living in a Correct article usage
a more
high cost
living city Add a hyphen
high-cost
as
Change preposition
like
Use synonyms
hong
Correct your spelling
Hong Kong
kong
, Use synonyms
people
cherish every cent that they earn so hard for it. usually, fast Use synonyms
food
in KFC Subway Use synonyms
such
as a Linking Words
sandwitch
or a set of Correct your spelling
sandwich
deep fried
chicken with CoCa CoLa Add a hyphen
deep-fried
are
cheaper than a set of Change the verb form
is
meal
in a normal restaurant. Fix the agreement mistake
meals
Therefore
, Linking Words
people
are more willing to have some lower price Use synonyms
food
to Use synonyms
comfor
their Correct your spelling
comfort
stamechas
so as to save their hard-earned income.
Another possible reason is the shortage of time waiting for a meal. Correct your spelling
sta mechas
as
all we know Capitalize word
As
that
Add a missing verb
is that
Use synonyms
hong
Correct your spelling
Hong Kong
kong
Use synonyms
people
, who Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
beening
living in a Correct your spelling
been
high pace
city, value efficiency Replace the word
fast-paced
on
every Change preposition
in
easpect
. with merely one hour for lunch, they of course want to cut time waiting for Correct your spelling
aspect
food
so as to relieve more time to relax and to enjoy their Use synonyms
food
. Fast Use synonyms
food
comes fast as literally their names and Use synonyms
finally
, become Linking Words
Use synonyms
hong
Correct your spelling
Hong Kong
kong
Use synonyms
people
's first choice when choosing for a meal.
To make a conclusion, despite that fast Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
are
more convenient and cheaper,we need to pay more attention Correct subject-verb agreement
is
on
nutrition Change preposition
to
on
our diet. Meanwhile, the government should spend more budget to help its residents Change preposition
in
to
achieve more healthy Verb problem
apply
food
Use synonyms
with
pleasant Change preposition
at
price
.Fix the agreement mistake
prices
Submitted by asllchkied on
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grammar
Ensure to check your spellings and grammar. For instance, words like 'benifit' should be 'benefit', 'hambourgers' should be 'hamburgers', and 'draging' should be 'dragging'. Additionally, some sentences lack coherence, like 'Fast food comes fast as literally their names and finally, become hong kong people's first choice when choosing for a meal.' Try to be clearer on how this directly leads to people selecting fast food.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction is brief but highlights the main issue. Make sure to reinforce your position throughout the essay to ensure clarity of your perspective.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples, especially when discussing the impact of pricing versus nutritional value, to strengthen your arguments and relate them to the reader's real-world experiences.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly, recognizing the issue of fast food and providing several reasons for its consumption.
logical structure
Good attempt at structuring the essay with paragraphs that focus on distinct points: accessibility, pricing, and time efficiency. This helps in developing the argument.
relevant specific examples
The writing includes specific examples of fast food chains and some insight into the busy lifestyle in Hong Kong, which adds local context and relevance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.