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Writing Samples
Band 8

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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While
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 economic growth is considered the ultimate goal by many governments, others suggest that there are other essential types of progress that should not be overlooked.
This
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 essay will analyze both points of view before concluding my own outlook. On one hand, it is reasonable to attach
such
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 importance to economic development, as it is one of the determinants to make a country become a success. Money is what controls transactions and ensures goods that
otherwise
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 have little of it, the residents may suffer from the deficiency of the bare necessities,
such
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 as food and accommodation.
This
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besides
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 has a negative impact on humans, especially wrecked health status and well-being, because of inadequacy and uncomfortable lives, even leading to a decline in the life standard of an entire nation.
For example
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, several African countries, where the financial budget is still limited, have been recorded to have the lowest happiness rate, showcasing how crucial economic progress is.
On the other hand
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, I am convinced that there are some factors as universally necessary as the nation's economy, prominently the human development index(HDI). The term consists of: a long and healthy life, being knowledgeable, decent standard of living and average annual income. These aforementioned sectors
also
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 make contributions to citizen's happiness, being the ultimate criteria for assessing the success of a country.
Furthermore
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, having a prosperous financial background alone doesn't assure people of satisfactory living. Some societal issues can consistently exist in
this
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 setting. To exemplify, India, despite standing as the world's leading economy, is regarded as one of the worst places to settle in, in light of gender prejudice towards women, high sex crime, and the polluted environment. All things considered,
although
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 I acknowledge the dominant role of financial resources, I assert that other components, including societal ones, should not be neglected for their equal significance.
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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task response
To improve task response, ensure more in-depth analysis of both perspectives, providing a nuanced understanding of the significance of economic growth and other forms of progress. Try to elaborate on how different types of progress interact with each other.
coherence causion
To enhance coherence, focus on using transitions between sentences and paragraphs more effectively to ensure each point builds on the previous one in a logical manner.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-articulated, properly setting up the discussion and effectively summarizing the writer's viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant examples, such as the Africa and India scenarios, to illustrate the main points, supporting the arguments effectively.
coherence causion
The logical structure is mostly clear, allowing the reader to follow the argumentation with ease, reflecting good planning and organization skills.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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