Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Actually, The growth of the economy has increased over the
last
Linking Words
few years.
Also
Linking Words
, the number of affluent countries has increased in the previous period , especially in the productive countries. there is
also
Linking Words
an increase in the number of factories, companies and offices. at the same time , a lot of significant public values have declined ,
however
Linking Words
, economic power is one of the fundamental resources to living in a standard way. On the one hand, The advantage of
this
Linking Words
development is enhancing the outcome
as well as
Linking Words
the output of these countries .
This
Linking Words
improvement makes the citizens
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financially independent and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a high budget. in
this
Linking Words
way, they can deal with any economic problems. in my perspective opinion, the prime advantage of
this
Linking Words
enhancement is you can buy anything that you want .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the disadvantage is some of the jobs lost
for example
Linking Words
transporting by hours. As the factory yield increases, the energy consumption
also
Linking Words
increases which is a critical issue for the environment. In sum , irrespective of the disadvantages, the advantages are more than the disadvantages .
Submitted by pha18m35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer organization. Try to use clear paragraph divisions and topic sentences for each main point.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples. This will help reinforce your arguments and provide evidence for your claims.
task achievement
While you address both advantages and disadvantages, ensure that each point is well-developed and balanced. This could make your argument stronger.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by mentioning both the positive and negative aspects of economic development.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to address the essay prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages related to a country's standard of living and economic development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • education
  • job opportunities
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • traditional cultural values
  • social bonds
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • social inequality
  • environmental conservation
  • wealth gap
  • vulnerable groups
What to do next:
Look at other essays: