It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, the
health
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has long been a subject of debate.
While
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some individuals believe that it is spending public
money
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to encourage
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
health
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livelihood to protect from diseases, others argue that
people
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should spend it on therapy for
people
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who have illnesses. I firmly support that sharing essential information about wellness is beneficial more than treating individuals. In
this
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essay, I will support my view with examples.
To begin
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with, it is true that treatment is important for patients to heal and survive in
this
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world and
they
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apply
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get rid of their suffering from pain.
Thus
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, if public
money
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is provided to treat
people
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, they might remember that for life.
However
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, there is already a plethora of government hospitals for patients to recover and they may feel embarrassed at the idea of adding more
money
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.
Additionally
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, they may lose hope in recovery, leading to deterioration in their psychological state.
For example
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,
although
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South Korea provides a lot of
money
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to educate
people
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about how they can live a healthy life, the number of suicides continues to rise.
Therefore
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, increasing the support of individuals is not a feasible idea.
On the other hand
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, there are many techniques to promote about healthy lifestyle to prohibit disease in the modern world. Because of the development of technology, it is possible to find on any topic, including
health
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.
For example
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, social media sites like YouTube and TikTok have multiple channels that publish videos regarding nutritious diet, fitness and exercise plans to stay fit.
Moreover
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, if some
people
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are excited about improving their wellness, they can always visit the relevant institutions that provide counselling on disease prevention methods. There are many nutritionists with professional experience so getting information about a disease-free lifestyle has become easier than ever before. In conclusion,
although
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there are some benefits to exploiting public
money
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to treat
people
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, I wholeheartedly believe that using public
money
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to educate
people
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about their healthcare is more useful than anything else. There are numerous ways to accomplish
this
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,
such
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as nutritionists, supported
health
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consulting and fitness channels.
Submitted by mariam99aa4 on

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task achievement
Ensure clear and consistent ideas throughout the essay to improve clarity.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion, summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view with relevant arguments on both sides of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • lifestyle-related illnesses
  • quality of life
  • health-conscious society
  • allocate funds
  • balanced healthcare system
  • comprehensive healthcare strategy
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