Some people say that school children should study history as a main subject. Others think that others subject are more important for children in modern society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In modern
society
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,
subjects
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like mathematics, science, and technology are getting
in
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into
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the limelight. But some people think students have to
study
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History
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more than any other subject.
History
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helps us understand our
society
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and provides insight into our future.
On the other hand
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, STEM
subjects
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lead our technology to another level. In
this
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essay, we are going to discuss both views, and I'll give you my opinion. From the perspective of people who want children to
study
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History
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as a main subject, there are several reasons to
study
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History
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.
Firstly
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, historical records are an important key to saving our culture.
For example
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, the Joseon Dynasty created veritable records of their kingdom. They are preserved in a perfect state until today. They provide us with objective information about Joseon, and thanks to
this
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, many historians have been able to
study
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ancient customs.
Secondly
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, studying
History
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provides students with a context for understanding their
society
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and the world. It helps them learn about different cultures, traditions, and beliefs, fostering tolerance and understanding.
On the other hand
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, others think
subjects
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like Chemistry, Sociology, and so on are more important. These kinds of
subjects
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focus on innovation and economic growth. Technology and economics are deeply rooted in modern
society
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. In the modern workforce, skills from
subjects
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like IT or business are often prioritized as they are seen as more directly linked to career success and opportunities. But in my opinion, I think studying
History
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is really important for children.
Due to
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smartphones and internet services, many children have lost their ability to think critically. Various perspectives on
history
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can help develop critical thinking and analytical skills.
Submitted by ihjung2000 on

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task achievement
Try to expand on your examples. For instance, elaborate on how historical events have provided critical lessons applicable in today’s world.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly by using linking words or phrases that connect ideas logically and clearly.
task achievement
Present a clearer differentiation between points by discussing each perspective in separate well-structured paragraphs.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledged both perspectives in the discussion, ensuring a balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, aiding clarity for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • context
  • analytical skills
  • critical thinking
  • culture
  • tolerance
  • traditions
  • identity
  • historical events
  • current events
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • problem-solving
  • globalization
  • communication skills
  • modern workforce
  • IT (Information Technology)
  • career success
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