IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that work is the most important thing in people's life. Without the success of a career, life becomes meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree!.

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Some individuals contend that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 individuals
self
Add a hyphen
self-effort
show examples
effort
Use synonyms
 is the most important thing in their
life
Use synonyms
 and they can
feal
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 unfilled with their
life
Use synonyms
 without working hard. In my opinion, I agree that working is the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
successed
Correct your spelling
successful
life
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, individuals who defend
this
Linking Words
 argument must consider that work is not the only thing that
matterns
Correct your spelling
matters
 in
reallife
Correct your spelling
real life
real-life
 and there are far more significant priorities
such
Linking Words
 as family and friendship.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, it is a fact that working hard provides to live a successful
life
Use synonyms
 and without putting enough
effort
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 some jobs or goals in our
life
Use synonyms
 sometimes ends with
regretness
Correct your spelling
regret
. A
person
Use synonyms
 must work hard to not feel regret. To better illustrate when a student procastinates studying and
did
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not
puth
Correct your spelling
put
push
 enough
effort
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
into
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 his/her exam, he/she will
probibly
Correct your spelling
probably
 fail in exam and that
couses
Correct your spelling
causes
 sadness and regretness. To prevent these unwanted situations
happening
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
 a
person
Use synonyms
 needs to take time for work.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, a
life
Use synonyms
 that just
endexed
Correct your spelling
ended
 to working is
also
Linking Words
 not healthy. Balance is everything and if a
person
Use synonyms
neglect
Change the verb form
neglects
show examples
 their other responsibilities or priorities
such
Linking Words
 as family and friends, unwanted situations can
be accured
Wrong verb form
occur
show examples
 in their social relationship
wheter
Correct your spelling
whether
where
 he/she is a very hardworking
person
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 these undesirable conditions may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 working
life
Use synonyms
 negatively.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 I did not see any successful
person
Use synonyms
 who
neglet
Correct your spelling
neglect
neglects
 his/her other responsibilities and social relationships.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I would agree that putting
enough
Change preposition
in enough
show examples
effort
Use synonyms
 is key to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 a successful
life
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, there are far more important cases rather
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 working hard.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your main ideas are clear and consistently elaborated throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing thoughts logically and using linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to your arguments.
relevant specific examples
You have included some relevant examples and arguments to support your points, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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