These days,mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one anther socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, mobile
phones
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and the internet have significantly changed how
people
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interact socially.
While
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some argue that these technologies create distance between individuals, others believe they help
people
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stay connected more easily.
This
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essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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development. I believe that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks, especially in terms of connectivity and convenience. One major advantage of using mobile
phones
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and the internet is the ability to maintain relationships regardless of distance.
For example
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,
people
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can easily stay in touch with family and friends through messaging apps, video calls, and social media.
This
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convenience allows individuals to feel emotionally connected even if they are geographically apart.
Therefore
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, technology strengthens bonds and ensures
people
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are more socially active in the digital space.
On the other hand
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, some believe that overreliance on digital communication weakens face-to-face interactions.
For instance
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, it is common to see
people
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at social gatherings checking their
phones
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instead
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of talking to each other.
This
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behavior
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behaviour
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can lead to poor communication skills and a sense of social isolation.
However
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, these issues can often be managed through self-discipline and awareness about healthy technology use. In conclusion,
while
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mobile
phones
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and the internet may reduce the quality of in-person interactions for some
people
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, their
overall
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benefits in helping individuals stay connected and build relationships cannot be ignored. I believe that with proper use, the advantages of these technologies clearly outweigh the disadvantages. It is essential that
people
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find a balance between online and offline communication for better social well-being.

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task achievement
Explain more points or give more examples to make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that shows the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words like 'however' or 'furthermore' to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion about the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good conclusion that summarizes your main points well.
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