It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is necessary for all cities to have public
places
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for
people
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such
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as large
parks
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and squares. I totally agree with
this
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statement because these
places
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change
people
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's moods and it is healthy for towns to have natural
places
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. Public
places
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encourage
people
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to go outside their homes to enjoy their time.
This
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is because squares and other outside
places
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are designed to entertain all kinds of ages from
places
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for kids' entertainment
,
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apply
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to cafes and shops which allow
people
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of different ages to have a good time with their families and friends.
For instance
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, Hail Zone is a square in Hail
City
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which has many shops and cafes that encourage the
city
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people
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to go there , especially at weekends. The addition of natural
places
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is a good way to have healthy cities.
This
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is because these natural
places
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are full of trees and flowers which give beauty to cities and these trees are full of oxygen that has a positive impact on the
city
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's air pollution.
Also
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,
parks
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allow
people
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to exercise and have long walks which make
people
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healthier and have fit bodies.
For instance
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, in Hail
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City
Add a comma
City,
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the government makes many
parks
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in the
city
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and puts exercise machines in them to encourage the
city
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's
people
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to exercise. In conclusion, many public
places
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and natural
parks
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encourage
people
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to leave their homes to enjoy the day which has a positive impact on their mood and makes them healthier,
Therefore
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, I believe that it is necessary for governments to add them
Submitted by sam  on

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Task Achievement
To enhance comprehensiveness, consider expanding on how public spaces contribute to mental health or community building.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve clarity and focus.
Coherence and Cohesion
Vary sentence structure and use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and demonstrate linguistic flexibility.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively argues in favor of having large public outdoor spaces by highlighting their benefits on mood and health.
Task Achievement
Both paragraphs provide relevant examples to support the main idea, adding depth and interest.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the arguments presented.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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