IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

An old car was left on the street near your street several weeks ago. The car is now causing a problem for residents. Write a letter to the Council. In your letter: Describe the car Outline the problems it is causing Tell the Council what you want them to do about it Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Councilor,

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Dear Councilor, With great inconvenience, I am writing to you regarding an old
vehicle
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 that has been abandoned for some weeks in
from
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front
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 of Number 1,Tom Street near “Murphy Villa” where I reside: The
vehicle
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 is in a state of complete debacle; it is a grey Toyota car with lessened tyres, bashed windows, dented bodywork and a slightly faded plate number which reads: GWA-294NY.
Firstly
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, the major issue accompanying where the
vehicle
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 is parked is the health risk it poses for the residents at "Murphy Villa" when they want to drive into the street. The car projects an obstruction as it is parked at the sharp bend of the street which nearly resulted in an accident with the first observer because he was oblivious to it being there.
Additionally
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, the condition of the
vehicle
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 is an eyesore for a poised environment
such
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 as ours. It does not project the exclusive essence and tranquillity our neighbourhood stands for. I would appreciate it if a delegate is sent from your Office to examine and confirm my complaint and have the car tolled to the scrap yard where it can be properly recycled. I earnestly anticipate your swift and positive response. Yours faithfully, Oluwadamilola Owolabi.

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task achievement
Try to avoid minor language inaccuracies such as 'lesened' (instead use 'flattened') and 'tolled' (consider 'towed'), as these can affect overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Although the letter is well-organized, ensure that each paragraph unfolds a singular idea effectively for better clarity. For instance, the problem paragraph can be divided into two separate paragraphs to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the letter is logical and easy to follow.
task achievement
You've used a formal and appropriate tone for the letter, which suits the purpose of the communication very well.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are properly and appropriately done.
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