IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealt with internationally. Others believe that it has to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?

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While
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 it is often thought that global environmental dilemmas ought to be tackled globally, others believe they can be dealt with domestically. In my opinion, I agree that if more
countries
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 work together as a team, they can solve these problems effectively.
Firstly
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, poor
countries
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 do not have the financial stability to deal with global environmental
issues
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.
In other words
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, when poor
countries
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 lack sufficient funds, they are unable to tackle environmental problems.
For example
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, Yemen has been suffering from war for several years, which disrupts the ecosystem. It is almost impossible for them to fix
this
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 issue
due to
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 their financial instability.
Therefore
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,
neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
show examples
countries
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,
such
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 as Saudi Arabia, should support Yemen to help conserve the environment.
Secondly
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, global warming has become one of the biggest
issues
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 the world faces.
That is
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 to say,
this
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 issue is not caused by one particular country alone, and it requires urgent action to preserve the planet.
For instance
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, global warming results from the rise in greenhouse gases emitted by factories around the world.
Hence
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,
countries
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 should invest more in renewable energy including solar and wind energy,
instead
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 of relying on fossil fuels.
Finally
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, some environmental
issues
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 are faced by multiple
countries
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 simultaneously. To put it simply, certain types of pollution affect more than one country at a time, disrupting the environments of neighbouring
countries
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. To illustrate, Malaysia sometimes suffers from air pollution
due to
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 Indonesia's agricultural activities,
such
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 as forest burning.
As a result
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, international laws should be established to protect the environment.
To sum up
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, I believe that developed
countries
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 should help others tackle environmental
issues
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 to preserve natural resources. If
countries
Use synonyms
 work together, they could more easily address challenges like greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution.

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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific data or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next, possibly by using linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples provided to support main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, aiding in comprehension.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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