Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

this

Linking Words

technological era, most kids spend long hours on their smartphones.

Due to

Linking Words

the excessive

use

Use synonyms

of smart gadgets, not only kids but

also

Linking Words

youngsters

use

Use synonyms

smart devices for both studying and entertainment. I personally think that spending long hours in front of a smartphone has more negative consequences than positive ones. There are several reasons why teenagers spend a significant amount of time on their mobile phones.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they can make both international and domestic friends through the internet and social media apps like Instagram and Facebook. These platforms allow them to interact with people from different cultures, broadening their social circles.

Secondly

Linking Words

, many educational institutions and tutors conduct online lectures, making mobile phones an essential tool for learning.

For example

Linking Words

, approximately 40% of Indian schools and colleges offer their classes through Zoom meetings, enabling students to access education remotely. Despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some benefits,

such

Linking Words

as improved access to information and digital literacy, excessive smartphone

use

Use synonyms

can lead to serious negative consequences.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it may negatively impact children’s physical health by causing eye strain, sleep disturbances, and a sedentary lifestyle, which increases the risk of obesity.

Secondly

Linking Words

, prolonged exposure to social media can lead to issues

such

Linking Words

as cyberbullying, decreased social interaction, and even mental health problems like anxiety and depression.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, excessive smartphone

use

Use synonyms

can reduce children’s attention spans, making it harder for them to focus on studies and real-world interactions. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

smartphones offer several benefits,

such

Linking Words

as educational resources and communication tools, their overuse among children is a concerning issue. To mitigate these negative effects, parents should regulate screen time and encourage outdoor activities and face-to-face interactions.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe

this

Linking Words

trend is largely a negative development that requires careful management.

atifanagori1903

Feb 28, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting your opinion effectively. However, consider summarizing your main points in the conclusion for a stronger closing.

task achievement

Your points are justified with relevant examples that enhance your argument. Try to elaborate a little more on the benefits of smartphone use to balance your discussion.

coherence and cohesion

Use more transition words to improve the flow between ideas, which can enhance readability and strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-organized and logically structured, with distinct paragraphs addressing specific points.

task achievement

The inclusion of statistical data on education through mobile phones provides strong support for your argument, which is commendable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
We live in an age of development, where technology has changed our lives dramatically. However, there is an argument about that change. Some people think that technology has complicated our lives so they suggest living an easier life by getting away from technology. In my opinion, I disagree with that, and here I will discuss and explain my viewpoint.
6.5
band
Some believe that people will buy a product based on their needs and there is no need for advertising. To what extent do you agree or disagree with essay?
There is a growing belief that folks will obtain an item if they need it , so advertisements for these things are not important. I completely agree with this perspective because people tend to buy what is crucial to them immediately. This essay will elaborate on why I endorse this statement.
7
band
For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?
In the contemporary world, the controversy surrounding the importance of art has been a prominent topic. While some people believe that art plays a crucial role in a nation’s culture, others argue that science, technology, and business are more beneficial. From my perspective, there are some reasons behind this phenomenon, such as alleviating financial problems as well as the growing demand for technology, and thus, some steps can be taken to accentuate the art.
7
band
Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?
In recent times, families have chosen to find care or nurse homes for their elderly relatives. Some people argue that this decision helps to sustain decreasing health conditions, while others believe that this can affect the emotional health of seniors. There are both advantages and disadvantages to such a situation.
6.5
band
Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?
With the expansion of giant supermarkets, small shops face difficulties in competing often resulting in them shutting down their shops. This affects the local society and for that reason, the closure of these stores must be avoided.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people will buy a product based on their needs and there is no need for advertising. To what extent do you agree or disagree with essay?

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?