Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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this

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technological era, most kids spend long hours on their smartphones.

Due to

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the excessive

use

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of smart gadgets, not only kids but

also

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youngsters

use

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smart devices for both studying and entertainment. I personally think that spending long hours in front of a smartphone has more negative consequences than positive ones. There are several reasons why teenagers spend a significant amount of time on their mobile phones.

Firstly

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, they can make both international and domestic friends through the internet and social media apps like Instagram and Facebook. These platforms allow them to interact with people from different cultures, broadening their social circles.

Secondly

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, many educational institutions and tutors conduct online lectures, making mobile phones an essential tool for learning.

For example

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, approximately 40% of Indian schools and colleges offer their classes through Zoom meetings, enabling students to access education remotely. Despite

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apply

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some benefits,

such

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as improved access to information and digital literacy, excessive smartphone

use

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can lead to serious negative consequences.

Firstly

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, it may negatively impact children’s physical health by causing eye strain, sleep disturbances, and a sedentary lifestyle, which increases the risk of obesity.

Secondly

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, prolonged exposure to social media can lead to issues

such

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as cyberbullying, decreased social interaction, and even mental health problems like anxiety and depression.

Furthermore

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, excessive smartphone

use

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can reduce children’s attention spans, making it harder for them to focus on studies and real-world interactions. In conclusion,

while

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smartphones offer several benefits,

such

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as educational resources and communication tools, their overuse among children is a concerning issue. To mitigate these negative effects, parents should regulate screen time and encourage outdoor activities and face-to-face interactions.

Therefore

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, I believe

this

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trend is largely a negative development that requires careful management.

atifanagori1903Fri Feb 28 2025

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coherence and cohesion

You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting your opinion effectively. However, consider summarizing your main points in the conclusion for a stronger closing.

task achievement

Your points are justified with relevant examples that enhance your argument. Try to elaborate a little more on the benefits of smartphone use to balance your discussion.

coherence and cohesion

Use more transition words to improve the flow between ideas, which can enhance readability and strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-organized and logically structured, with distinct paragraphs addressing specific points.

task achievement

The inclusion of statistical data on education through mobile phones provides strong support for your argument, which is commendable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

International travel has become more affordable and many countries are opening their doors to increase the number of tourists. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.