IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Success in formal 'pen and paper' examinations is often seen to be a sign of intelligence. To what extent do you agree with the view that formal examinations measure intelligence?

#success #pen #paper #examinations #sign #intelligence #measure
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There is an opinion that
believe
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believes
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pass
Wrong verb form
passing
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 the formal
exams
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 successfully
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
show examples
 one’s
intelligence
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. In my opinion, high
peformance
Correct your spelling
performance
 in
exams
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 is often associated to hardworking of
individuals
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, not
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
intelligence
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.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, bad function in
exams
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 does not mean the
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
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 IQ of the persons. On the one hand, I think formal examination could not discover the mental ability of
individuals
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due to
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 several reasons.
Firstly
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, there are various types of
intelligent
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intelligence
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 which are
realted
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related
 to different areas
such
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 as arts and
musice
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music
, literature, computing and mathematics,
therefore
Linking Words
,
paper
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exams
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 are
the
Correct article usage
a
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limit
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limited
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 way to cover some kinds of
intelligence
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, not the whole range.
Secondly
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,
paper
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 questions just discover some memory’s ability
not
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, not
show examples
 the brain function.
For example
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, many
exams
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 in school demonstrate how students can recite the learned
subjectes
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subjects
, not yet their unique methods
in
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of
show examples
 solving innovative problems.
Lastly
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, a normal but
hardwork
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hard work
hardworking
 person can achieve to high score
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
paper
Use synonyms
 rather than a lazy but
intelecual
Correct your spelling
intellectual
 one. At the same time, bad performances in
paper
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examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
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 does not mean the
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
show examples
 IQ of
individuals
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. Some intelligent people
experiences
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experience
show examples
 extra anxiety during the tests, as they expect themselves the
compelate
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complete
 performance,
whithout
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without
 any mistakes which
leads
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lead
show examples
 their brain to less activity at that moment.
In addition
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, some
individuals
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 do not strive for
exams
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 just because they
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not have any intensive.
For instance
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, some high-IQ students in school show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less performance,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 after they find their way, they become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very successful
leaderships
Replace the word
leaders
show examples
 in their field. In conclusion,
paper
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 examination
often
Add a missing verb
is often
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 related to
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,
diciplines
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disciplines
discipline
 and memory ability of
individuals
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not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
 their
intelligence
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by skharratian on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, try linking paragraphs more smoothly. Utilize transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument or exposition more effectively. This will create a stronger, more logical flow to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to your thesis. This will help in making arguments more precise and ideas well-aligned with the main topic.
task achievement
Your examples adequately support your main points, but they can be more specific and varied to better show the complexity of the argument. Try incorporating more real-world examples or stating hypothetical situations that could make your argument more robust.
task achievement
Expand on your points to reflect a more detailed understanding of the topic. Present more facets of the debate around the measuring of intelligence through exams, and discuss opposing views more thoroughly to enhance depth.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the writer’s stance: that success in formal exams is more a reflection of hard work than intelligence, setting a clear pathway for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Logical arguments are made against the idea of exams measuring intelligence, with multiple reasons presented such as different types of intelligence and the emphasis on memory over creativity.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument that formal exams are related more to discipline and memory rather than intelligence, wrapping up the essay neatly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • memorization
  • test-taking skills
  • standardized tests
  • creative intelligence
  • practical intelligence
  • emotional intelligence
  • test anxiety
  • external factors
  • project-based assessments
  • oral presentations
  • group work
  • comprehensive understanding
  • perform under pressure
  • cultural biases
  • test design
  • disadvantage
  • accurately reflecting
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