IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these vibes and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
During
job
Use synonyms
 applications, employers often request personal
information
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as hobbies, interests, and marital status.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that these
details
Use synonyms
 are relevant and useful for hiring decisions, others argue that they are unnecessary and can lead to bias.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both perspectives and present my own opinion. On the one hand, personal
information
Use synonyms
 can provide valuable insights into a candidate’s suitability for a role.
For instance
Linking Words
, hobbies and interests often reveal personality traits that align with the company’s culture or
job
Use synonyms
 requirements. A candidate who enjoys outdoor sports,
for example
Linking Words
, might be seen as a team player, which is beneficial in collaborative environments.
Similarly
Linking Words
, knowing an applicant’s marital status can help employers evaluate their availability for relocation or long hours, ensuring realistic expectations on both sides.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
details
Use synonyms
 enable employers to match candidates more effectively to roles and workplace dynamics.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents argue that these personal
details
Use synonyms
 are irrelevant to professional competence. Skills, qualifications, and experience are far better indicators of a candidate’s ability to perform a
job
Use synonyms
 effectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, requesting personal
information
Use synonyms
 opens the door to potential bias or discrimination.
For example
Linking Words
, a married candidate may be unfairly overlooked for a role requiring travel, even if they are willing and capable.
This
Linking Words
 practice undermines equal opportunities and can result in talented individuals being excluded for reasons unrelated to their abilities. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 personal
information
Use synonyms
 can occasionally provide useful context in hiring decisions, its relevance varies by situation and must be approached cautiously. In my opinion, professional qualifications should always take precedence, with personal
details
Use synonyms
 considered only when they directly contribute to
job
Use synonyms
 performance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on examples and provide more variety to enhance the development of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next for even greater coherence.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument and presents a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
There's a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with relevant explanations related to the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: