IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are moving from the countryside to the city. What are some of the problems this can cause? What solutions can you suggest?

#people #countryside #city
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Increasing numbers of individuals are migrating from the village to the town.
This
Linking Words
 can
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
 some challenges.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
siscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 one of them,
this
Linking Words
 is
pollution
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the growth of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and governments can put some bans for solving
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, more humans are moving to urban
places
Use synonyms
 for their benefits like better jobs,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 sociable
places
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 a lot of people
equal
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many cars, the reason is that people want to get
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
work
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
places
Use synonyms
, schools and universities in the morning, so it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 air
pollution
Use synonyms
 from the smoke that automobiles make.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
 in 2018, by Cambridge University, during
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 50 years, the percentage of carbon emissions in the air had been increased by 40%, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars.
In addition
Linking Words
, the leadership can create new
places
Use synonyms
 for employees and students. Most locations
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 universities and
work
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
places
Use synonyms
, are in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the city, if these areas or new ones are moved to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suburban lands by governments,
then
Linking Words
 it will decrease the total population who lives in urban lands.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Portugal, the companies moved their offices to the countryside and in 2 years, the amount of air
pollution
Use synonyms
 had been reduced, based on the report in 2022 by the World Health Organisation.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end,
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
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 amount of people stay in metropols in modern days, because of their studies and
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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,
this
Linking Words
 can cause environmental damage. The authority
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to change some important locations to the outskirts to prevent
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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clarity
Consider improving the clarity of your ideas by structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that directly relates to the main question.
depth
Try to expand on each point a bit more to fully explore your ideas. More detail can add depth to your response and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
cohesion
Ensure every paragraph links clearly to the main point you introduced in the introduction. This can help improve the overall cohesiveness of your essay.
specific example
Good use of a real-world example from Cambridge University added relevance and specificity to your argument.
complete response
You effectively identified the problem and a possible solution, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task.
logical structure
The essay has a logical flow from problem identification to solution proposal, which provides a coherent structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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