IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Fast food restaurant should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #restaurant
Today the need for fast
food
 is ever increasing year by year as most
people
 tend to be too busy all the time to cook at home .
However
, it has had an adverse impact on individuals. I,
therefore
,agree that serving savoury
food
 in restaurants should be prohibited. In
this
 essay, I will give some examples to support my viewpoint. First of all , it is an undeniable fact that the consumption of fast
food
 is believed to lead to obesity. To be more exact, there are some
people
 who like having
junk
food
 on a daily basis, and by consuming a large portion of it, they are ,without a doubt,risking their lives since fast
food
 is rich in calories which are hard to get rid of.
For instance
, nearly 20- 25% of
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 citizens suffer from being overweight caused by eating high caloric
food
.
Thus
,obesity can be seen as a direct result of having a large quantity of
junk
food
.
Additionally
, it should be noted that fast
food
 is not as nutritious as the ones that are made at home.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that
while
 being prepared, a diverse range of chemicals are added to fast
food
 so that it tastes good and flavourful as the majority of customers prefer ,
thus
 making
junk
food
 increasingly more popular
However
, they lack nutrients which play an essential role in humans' health. That's why, they cannot deliver what is vital to
people
's physical needs
such
 as energy to be productive all the time as
food
 cooked at home does. In conclusion,
although
 fast
food
 has brought conveniences
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our lives, I do not think restaurants should serve
junk
food
,for it causes
people
 to
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
 fat and has less nutritional value.
Submitted by a_zamjonov99 on

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general
Improve sentence variety and complexity to enhance readability and engagement.
general
Avoid minor grammatical errors and improve punctuation usage, especially around commas and spaces.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic and outlines the structure of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author's stance in a coherent way.
supported main points
The essay provides specific examples and factual data to support the main arguments.

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