IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fast food restaurant should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #restaurant
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Today the need for fast
food
Use synonyms
 is ever increasing year by year as most
people
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 tend to be too busy all the time to cook at home .
However
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, it has had an adverse impact on individuals. I,
therefore
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,agree that serving savoury
food
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 in restaurants should be prohibited. In
this
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 essay, I will give some examples to support my viewpoint. First of all , it is an undeniable fact that the consumption of fast
food
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 is believed to lead to obesity. To be more exact, there are some
people
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 who like having
junk
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food
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 on a daily basis, and by consuming a large portion of it, they are ,without a doubt,risking their lives since fast
food
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 is rich in calories which are hard to get rid of.
For instance
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, nearly 20- 25% of
american
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American
show examples
 citizens suffer from being overweight caused by eating high caloric
food
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.
Thus
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,obesity can be seen as a direct result of having a large quantity of
junk
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food
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.
Additionally
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, it should be noted that fast
food
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 is not as nutritious as the ones that are made at home.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that
while
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 being prepared, a diverse range of chemicals are added to fast
food
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 so that it tastes good and flavourful as the majority of customers prefer ,
thus
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 making
junk
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food
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 increasingly more popular
However
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, they lack nutrients which play an essential role in humans' health. That's why, they cannot deliver what is vital to
people
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's physical needs
such
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 as energy to be productive all the time as
food
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 cooked at home does. In conclusion,
although
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 fast
food
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 has brought conveniences
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our lives, I do not think restaurants should serve
junk
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food
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,for it causes
people
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 to
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
 fat and has less nutritional value.
Submitted by a_zamjonov99 on

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general
Improve sentence variety and complexity to enhance readability and engagement.
general
Avoid minor grammatical errors and improve punctuation usage, especially around commas and spaces.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic and outlines the structure of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author's stance in a coherent way.
supported main points
The essay provides specific examples and factual data to support the main arguments.
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