In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

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Nowadays, the high rate of unemployed qualified graduates is a worldwide pressing issue.

This

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essay is going to present the reasons for

this

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scenario and the measures that could be addressed to increase employment levels among

this

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group.

To begin

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with, during periods of economic crises, companies reduce their workforce, aiming at cost-cutting. Since experienced

professionals

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usually have higher salaries, they are the first option in a layoff process. To reverse

this

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situation, federal governments could adopt a tax exemption to strategic and workforce-demanding sectors, which could reduce the crisis impact on companies' cash flow.

For instance

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, the Brazilian Government has been adopting, since 2003, tax exemption for IT and construction companies, which has led to a higher employment rate in their sector.

Additionally

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, employers tend to replace qualified employees with trainees or young

professionals

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also

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to reduce operational costs.

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is because the latter's salaries are half or even less than the former's. As a solution, firms could implement seasoned professional acknowledgement programs, to maintain these

professionals

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and,

as a consequence

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, the quality of their workers. To illustrate, the Brazilian oil and gas company, Petrobras, established a technical consultant career for experienced employees, to retain them, despite the increasing number of opportunities in the oil and gas production chain in Brazil.

To sum up

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, it is undeniable that the growing number of unemployees among qualified graduates is a relevant issue in many countries, mainly

due to

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the current economic crisis, which is reflected in a reduction in job positions. To avoid it, I propose the adoption of governmental policies of tax exemption and private human resources practices that value experienced workers, both to sustain these

professionals

Use synonyms

in their actual job positions.

rpromeiroSun Jan 14 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should contain a single main point and appropriate supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion

While you provided an introduction and conclusion, they could be more effectively paraphrased to avoid repetition and strengthen the overall impression of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop and support your main points with specific examples and make sure they are fully elaborated upon to demonstrate an in-depth understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. While you covered possible solutions, there's room to further expand on the causes of unemployment among graduates for a more complete response.

Task Achievement

Clarify and expand your ideas with the aim of providing a comprehensive discussion on the topic. The essay can benefit from deeper analysis and more varied language.

Task Achievement

Use relevant examples to substantiate your arguments. Though you provided some examples, more could be included to strengthen the argument and add credibility to your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

Your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages?

Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.