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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for people to take risks, bothh in teir professional lives and their personal lives. Do yo think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #bothh #teir #lives #yo
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Taking
risks
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 in both professional and personal life is often seen as an essential part of growth and success.
While
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 there are some disadvantages to taking
risks
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, I believe the advantages outweigh the
risks
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, making it a worthwhile pursuit. In professional life, taking calculated
risks
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 can lead to great rewards. Many successful entrepreneurs and business leaders,
for example
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, achieved their success by taking bold
risks
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. These
risks
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 often involve stepping outside of one's comfort zone, but they can result in new opportunities, increased innovation, and career advancement. Without
risk taking
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risk-taking
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,
people
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 may remain stagnant in their careers, unable to reach their full potential.
Similarly
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, in personal life, taking
risks
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 can bring about personal growth and improved relationships.
For instance
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,
people
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 who take the risk of moving to a new country or starting a new relationship may experience personal development and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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. These
risks
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 challenge individuals to step outside their familiar environment, leading to new experiences and broader perspectives. Taking
risks
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 can
also
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 build confidence, as individuals learn to overcome obstacles and handle uncertainty. Of course, there are disadvantages to taking
risks
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. The main concern is the possibility of failure, which can be stressful or even damaging.
However
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, the potential benefits often outweigh the consequences of failure. Failure can be a valuable learning experience, helping
people
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 make better decisions in the future. In conclusion,
while
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 taking
risks
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 involves challenges, the advantages
such
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 as personal growth, career success, and new opportunities far outweigh the disadvantages.
Therefore
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, I believe it is important for
people
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 to take
risks
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 in both their professional and personal lives.
Submitted by muzun0612 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay includes specific examples, detailed explanations, and evidence to thoroughly support your arguments. This will help in further substantiating the points made.
coherence cohesion
While the essay logically flows from one idea to another, consider incorporating more transitional phrases to improve the fluidity between paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both professional and personal aspects and weighing the advantages and disadvantages effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively which contributes to the structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, with a good balance of professional and personal life examples, contributing to overall cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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