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Writing Samples
Band 7

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident, as people all over the world wear the same fashions, use the same brands, have similar eating habits and watch the same TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

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In
 the contemporary world, everyone struggles to spend a lavish
lifestyle
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, and
therefore
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, the standard of living worldwide has reached a plateau. Albeit the trend of spending an equivalent
lifestyle
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 possesses a set of merits and demerits, I firmly assert that the positives of
such
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 a trend overpower the negatives. On the
one
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 hand, attaining a similar
lifestyle
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 poses a threat to the local
culture
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 and customs. To explain
this
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further
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, societies , driven by the notion of modernization, tend to lose their traditions and
culture
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 in pursuit of trending lifestyles.
As a result
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,
such
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 regions no longer serve as places of tourism
due to
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 the loss of discrepancies in living standards.
For instance
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, many tourists, captivated by the diversity of customs and traditions of other regions, visit them;
while
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on the contrary
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,
nations
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 with the same
culture
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 do not fall on their preference list at all.
Hence
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,the uniqueness of
culture
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 and traditions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 integral to every country and should not be lost in the pursuit of modernity.
On the other hand
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, there are several advantages of uniformity in lifestyles. To elucidate, many resources are readily available to the locals when
people
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's
lifestyle
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 is ubiquitous. In
this
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 manner, everyone is capable of accessing the same amenities as others, which in
one
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 perspective, fortifies
nations
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. To exemplify, when
people
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 are familiar with the perks of upgraded lifestyles, they struggle even harder to achieve them, and, owing to
this
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, the economy of the country stabilises in general.
Similarly
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, it is
one
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 of the rights of
people
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 to enjoy the virtues of a standard quality of life.
This
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 means that when quality of life becomes equal everywhere,
people
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 stop competing with
one
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 another, and the net effect
this
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 adds to the security of
nations
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.
For example
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, quality of life is equal in several developed
nations
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 of the world,
subsequently
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, crime rates are
also
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 small in these places.
To conclude
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, it is obvious that having the same living standards everywhere has some drawbacks which should be considered,
nonetheless
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, when macroscopically viewed, the advantages of
this
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 practice outnumber its disadvantages. The best approach is to adopt modernity in
such
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 a manner that ensures the security of cultural vibrance.

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task achievement
You provided clear arguments and examples to support your stance. However, some points could be expanded further to give a more comprehensive response. For example, you could elaborate more on how modernization trends specifically overshadow local customs and traditions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and your points are well-organized into paragraphs. However, there was a minor issue with the phrase "spending an equivalent lifestyle." It might be clearer to say "leading a similar lifestyle." Making minor adjustments like this can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly outlining the main argument and your stance.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that summarizes the key points and reinforces your viewpoint effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point and leading smoothly to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global community
  • interconnectedness
  • cultural exchange
  • global brands
  • economic benefits
  • shared prosperity
  • cultural identity
  • cultural diversity
  • environmental impact
  • local customs
  • local businesses
  • economic difficulties
  • adaptation
  • culture shock
  • dominance
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