The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident, as people all over the world wear the same fashions, use the same brands, have similar eating habits and watch the same TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?
n
the contemporary world, everyone struggles to spend a lavish Correct your spelling
In
lifestyle
, and therefore
, the standard of living worldwide has reached a plateau. Albeit the trend of spending an equivalent lifestyle
possesses a set of merits and demerits, I firmly assert that the positives of such
a trend overpower the negatives.
On the one
hand, attaining a similar lifestyle
poses a threat to the local culture
and customs. To explain this
further
, societies , driven by the notion of modernization, tend to lose their traditions and culture
in pursuit of trending lifestyles. As a result
, such
regions no longer serve as places of tourism due to
the loss of discrepancies in living standards. For instance
, many tourists, captivated by the diversity of customs and traditions of other regions, visit them; while
on the contrary
, nations
with the same culture
do not fall on their preference list at all. Hence
,the uniqueness of culture
and traditions are
integral to every country and should not be lost in the pursuit of modernity.
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
On the other hand
, there are several advantages of uniformity in lifestyles. To elucidate, many resources are readily available to the locals when people
's lifestyle
is ubiquitous. In this
manner, everyone is capable of accessing the same amenities as others, which in one
perspective, fortifies nations
. To exemplify, when people
are familiar with the perks of upgraded lifestyles, they struggle even harder to achieve them, and, owing to this
, the economy of the country stabilises in general. Similarly
, it is one
of the rights of people
to enjoy the virtues of a standard quality of life. This
means that when quality of life becomes equal everywhere, people
stop competing with one
another, and the net effect this
adds to the security of nations
. For example
, quality of life is equal in several developed nations
of the world, subsequently
, crime rates are also
small in these places.
To conclude
, it is obvious that having the same living standards everywhere has some drawbacks which should be considered, nonetheless
, when macroscopically viewed, the advantages of this
practice outnumber its disadvantages. The best approach is to adopt modernity in such
a manner that ensures the security of cultural vibrance.Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on
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task achievement
You provided clear arguments and examples to support your stance. However, some points could be expanded further to give a more comprehensive response. For example, you could elaborate more on how modernization trends specifically overshadow local customs and traditions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and your points are well-organized into paragraphs. However, there was a minor issue with the phrase "spending an equivalent lifestyle." It might be clearer to say "leading a similar lifestyle." Making minor adjustments like this can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly outlining the main argument and your stance.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that summarizes the key points and reinforces your viewpoint effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point and leading smoothly to the next.
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