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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In today's world many people own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Nowadays, there is almost no person attached to modern technology,
such
Linking Words
 as a smartphone.
Due to
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 that, discussions are born constantly among society whether having a phone makes our life better and easier or causes a damage to our lives. So, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we are going to find out if the advantages outweigh or disadvantages.
Body · 1
First of all, we cannot deny the fact that the invention of smartphones is a huge outbreak in human history, followed by undone changes in our daily lives and adaptation to
this
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 world’s transformation.
For example
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, except for going to the library to finish your university project or just to have a book to entertain yourself, we simply turn our phones on and start searching for the information we need; the outburst of social media allows us to keep in touch with our family, colleagues and friends on a daily basis with no need to go to another town if you live far away from each other. These small samples show how technology can save our most valuable source which is time.
Body · 2
Otherwise
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, a smart phone is a really dangerous and addictive machine. Sometimes we spend too much time watching funny videos, scrolling, reading junk on the feed, etc. – that forms our mindset and because of the low-quality content we absorb, the brain simply gets deteriorated.
Therefore
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, we have to keep an eye on how we use modern technologies to be the main in
such
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 relations and not to be controlled by our phones. The more time a person spends, the more addictive he or she becomes.
Conclusion
Therefore
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, phones are rather helpful than damaging if you use it in a proper way. We always must remember that it is crucial to be the owner of a phone and not its slave.

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task response
Give a more clear answer in the first part. Say early that you think the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need one more step of support.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and real. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is weak or not natural. Try to connect ideas in a more smooth way.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar. Keep sentences more simple and direct.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear paragraph plan with an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
The example about study, books, and keeping in touch helps support your main point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphone
  • talk
  • message
  • information
  • map
  • app
  • bank
  • safety
  • time
  • distraction
  • sleep
  • privacy
  • security
  • screen time
  • balance
  • limit
  • habit
  • learning
  • work
  • health
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