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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that online study is the most effective and convenient way to learn. Others believe that online study will never be as effective as learning at school, in person. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #study #school #person
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Online
study
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 has become an indispensable part of modern education. There has been a frequently discussed issue of whether online
study
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 is crucial for
students
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, or whether it poses risks. I firmly agree that there are a lot of beneficial effects of studying online.
This
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 essay will delve into
this
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 phenomenon, supported by relevant examples and insights.
To begin
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, critics contend that exposing individuals to
study
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 modern technology, potentially can contribute to growth in knowledge, especially in meeting courses. A
study
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 conducted at Nizwa University illustrated that
students
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 who attended the online class were better than others.
Consequently
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, many
students
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 have more energy and are active in studying.
On the other hand
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, there is a growing preference among the population for studying online as creative subjects assist
students
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 in acquiring more and more skills in different fields. The Omani Educational Association indicated that studying online assists
students
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 in accomplishing many goals in one subject.
As a result
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, people can keep their time to understand all subjects.
Furthermore
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, the outcomes of online studying are not limited only to
students
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 but
also
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 have a profound impact on society. It increases the level of awareness. A report by a UNESCO survey showed that 80% of
students
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 prefer online courses rather than attending classes.
Thus
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, the public is aware of the importance of studying on tablets. In conclusion,
although
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 online studying has some challenges, I totally agree that online studying plays a crucial role in modern life.
Therefore
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, the government should encourage people to use current technology in education .
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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introduction conclusion present
In the introduction, your stance on online education is clear, but the mention of it posing risks could be elaborated on to balance the introduction more effectively.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear central idea, focusing more succinctly on points to avoid slight repetition.
logical structure
Try to link ideas more clearly between paragraphs for improved coherence. Consider transitioning more explicitly from the benefits of online learning to the impact on society.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly reinforces your opinion, providing a sense of closure.
relevant specific examples
Use of specific examples, like studies from Nizwa University and reports by UNESCO, helps ground your arguments.
complete response
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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