Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

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Some individuals argue that the main path to happiness is having a lot of
money
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.
This
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is because
money
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gives power to an individual, but I believe that being loved is more important to a
person
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’s happiness than
money
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.
People
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believe that if they have a million dollars in their bank account,
then
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they have the power to control everything in the world. They can fulfil all their desires
such
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as buying materialistic things like expensive clothes, cars and houses which gives them a sense of satisfaction and happiness.
For example
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, when a woman buys a luxury item
such
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as a Gucci bag, she feels happy.
On the other hand
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, I believe that
money
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is not everything in a
person
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’s
life
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. A
person
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can feel content with little
money
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, but a
person
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cannot be happy without love.
This
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is an emotion which nobody can buy and if it is in someone’s
life
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,
then
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their
life
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is complete.
Moreover
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, a
person
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can have everything but still cannot be happy because they do have
people
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around them who love them unconditionally, respect them and take care of them.
For instance
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, a poor
person
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can be happier than a rich
person
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because they have a family who loves and cares for them. In conclusion, some
people
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believe that to be happy in
life
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they should have more
money
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because it gives them the power to do anything.
However
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, I believe that love can make
people
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happy as
this
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emotion makes them feel complete and respected.
Submitted by bhat.shweta17 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by making smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully elaborated on, providing more detail and depth to arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your position, and it concludes with a summary of the main points.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the Gucci bag and family love, effectively illustrates the points made in each paragraph.
Task Achievement
The essay responds fully to the prompt, discussing both the role of money and other sources of happiness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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