IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #television #education #entertainment
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Some individuals state that
television
Use synonyms
 is useful to educate
people
Use synonyms
 whilst others think that it is more beneficial for
entertainment
Use synonyms
. I personally believe that
while
Linking Words
television
Use synonyms
 offers educational
programs
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 to educate
people
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, viewers primarily watch
television
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 for recreation because it provides a wide range of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 options.
Television
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 telecasts educational
programs
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 about
history
Correct article usage
the history
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, geography, language, and culture of various countries and
people
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 in various channels. These
programs
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 are informative and thoughtful
,
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apply
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 and provide practical knowledge and
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
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. If viewers watch those
programs
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, they can learn a lot from them and expand their knowledge about different topics.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, a
television
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 channel telecasts a program named "Explore the
Unnown
Correct your spelling
Unknown
" every Friday, which allows viewers to learn about
lifestyle
Correct article usage
the lifestyle
show examples
 and geography of different countries, without visiting them.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that the sole purpose of watching
television
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 is
entertainment
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.
People
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 basically watch
television
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 for recreation.
Television
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 provides a large number of
programs
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 to entertain
people
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. Working persons after a busy and hectic day or students after completing their regular studies sit in front of
Use synonyms
television
Add an article
the television
show examples
 to have some
entertainment
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. They require refreshment after a long and busy day, and
that is
Linking Words
 the fundamental cause of watching
television
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the UK, many
people
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages state that they only prefer to watch funny and entertaining
programs
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
Use synonyms
, and they become bored if they watch other types of
programs
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think that
television
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 is more appropriate to entertain
people
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. In conclusion, I personally think that
although
Linking Words
television
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 facilitates education by telecasting some informative
programs
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, it is more useful for recreation, because
people
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 generally watch it for
entertainment
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.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
To improve task response, consider elaborating more on each view before presenting your opinion to ensure a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence, focusing on a smoother transition between discussing educational benefits and why you believe entertainment is the primary purpose can enhance the flow.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both views and concludes with a clear personal opinion, maintaining focus on the topic throughout.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure maintained with a logical progression from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples like the program "Explore the Unknown" in Bangladesh help in substantiating the points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • informative documentaries
  • interactive learning
  • entertaining content
  • reality shows
  • cartoons
  • intellectual development
  • parental guidance
  • screen time
  • creative thinking
  • educational potential
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