IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the min legal age for driving a car or motorbike.To what extent do you agree/disagree

#people #road #safety #min #age #car #motorbike
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in recent years. the debate about
the
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apply
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road safety has attracted much attention from many professionals.
therefore
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. to agree or disagree with the
statement
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the
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on the
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 topic. is an important matter. in
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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 will discuss and give my opinion about the
reasons
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 for supporting or opposing
this
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statement
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. on the one hand. many
people
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 agree
whith
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with
this
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statement
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 for several main
reasons
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. perhaps the most important is that
people
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 believe
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the minimuum
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minimuum
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minimum
 age limit for driving has to
be increase
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be increased
be increasing
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 for some
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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such
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 as 18 or 17 in my opinion
i
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I
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 think they are
in
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an
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 a independent age to drive. and it
is depends
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depends
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 on the driver he
have
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has
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 to give all his attention to the road and be
carefully
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careful
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.
on the other hand
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. other
people
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 disagree with
this
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statement
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 for various
reasons
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. the most significant is that the average of accidents
increase
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increased
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 tremendously and the main reason was
dipersants
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dispersants
.
for example
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. using mobile
while
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 driving
it
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apply
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can greatly distract you and excess your risk and
gitting
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getting
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 into an accident
for instance
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. a study puplished at pmu university in 2020 that the average of
accident
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accidents
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increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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50
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by 50
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%
than
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in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 10 years in conclusion
although
Linking Words
 many
people
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 disagree
i
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I
show examples
 strongly agree
whith
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with
 the
statement
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 that
i
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I
show examples
mention
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mentioned
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becaus
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because
 that can lead to more drawbacks
more
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apply
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than
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
Submitted by majed.a.n411 on

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introduction conclusion present
While the essay contains an introduction and conclusion, consider strengthening your thesis statement in the introduction and ensuring your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed.
logical structure
Improve logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops ideas with supporting evidence.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify ideas by using more specific arguments. For example, instead of stating that people believe the minimum age should be increased, explain why they think this and provide supporting evidence.
relevant specific examples
Use more precise and relevant examples to support your points, ensuring they directly relate to the argument you are making.
complete response
The essay presents both sides of the argument, showing consideration of different perspectives on the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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