IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some think increaisng prices of fuel will help deal with environmental pollution. to which extent do you agre or disagree

It is argued that the most feasible approach towards finding a solution to environmental pollution is to elevate the cost of
fuel
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe that increasing
Use synonyms
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
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 of
fuel
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 will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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industrial progress and increase inflation. Imposing high
prices
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 of
fuel
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 will decrease the availability of burning material necessary for the Industries.
Moreover
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, the lack of availability of
fuel
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 to
power
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 the machinery will cause a decline
to
Change preposition
in
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 the gross number of products.
Thus
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, leading to scarcity of materials from industries.
For instance
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,
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the Russian-ukranian
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Russian-ukranian
Correct your spelling
Russian-Ukrainian
 conflict,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Russia stopped its supply of natural gas to
eastern
Capitalize word
Eastern
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 Europe leading to
sever
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severe
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power
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 breakdown of electricity, gas for cooking and to
power
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 a large number of
power
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 stations. High
prices
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 of
fuel
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 increase the
prices
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 of all the
goods
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due to
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 high transportation costs.
Furthermore
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, it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of means for
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
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 of
goods
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 because some transporters would not be able to keep pace with
such
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 high costs.
Therefore
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, it will ultimately decrease
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
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to
Change preposition
of
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
local
Add an article
the local
a local
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 market,
thus
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 increasing inflation.
For example
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, when
Correct article usage
the pakistani
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pakistani
Change the capitalization
Pakistani
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 government imposed additional taxes on petrol
prices
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 in 2021, the exports via roads declined and
prices
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 of basic necessities like wheat went out of reach for poor people. In conclusion, high
fuel
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prices
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 are not a feasible solution to reduce
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
 of environmental pollution.
Instead
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, it will raise several problems
such
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 as high
prices
Use synonyms
 for basic
goods
Use synonyms
 and
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in industrial production.

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task achievement
Ensure that the central argument is clearly stated and fully developed throughout the essay. While your points are well-articulated, consider explicitly linking your arguments back to the central thesis to reinforce your stance.
coherence cohesion
Use clear transition phrases to enhance the logical sequence of your ideas. While your essay generally flows well, explicit connectors could make the relationships between ideas even clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main argument effectively. This helps to provide a comprehensive framework for your readers.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as the impact of fuel prices in Pakistan, which effectively support your points and enhance your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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