the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

the diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The diagram illustrates data about
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
period for producing
sugar
Use synonyms
from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are seven stages of
this
Linking Words
process, which require different tools. At first
glances
Fix the agreement mistake
glance
show examples
, it can be seen that
sugar
Use synonyms
canes have to develop for 12-18 months.
Then
Linking Words
, grow-old
sugar
Use synonyms
canes are harvested by workers.
This
Linking Words
can be done
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
2 different ways. Either farmers can harvest
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their tools on their own, or they can use machines
instead
Linking Words
of putting
so
Change preposition
in so
show examples
much effort.
In addition
Linking Words
, these sweets are being crushed in a special machine. They utilize purifying juice with
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and drop these into
evaporator
Add an article
the evaporator
show examples
. Juice is heated by
this
Linking Words
machine and becomes hot, changing into syrup.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
centrigufe
Correct your spelling
centrifuge
works and
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals leave the syrup. After that, they stay in a huge iron bottle for drying and cooling. In conclusion, producing
sugar
Use synonyms
from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane is a long time frame witch
wants
Verb problem
requires
show examples
effort. Despite
this
Linking Words
, with the use of several machines and tools,
this
Linking Words
period can be easier
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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