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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people do not eat meat and fish. They think that it will better for health and also world. Discuss the the view and give you opinion. Essay for ielts writing part in 250 words

#people #meat #fish #health #world #ielts #part
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Some people have decided to be vegetarians. They do not consume chicken, beef, pork, or fish. They do
this
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 to become healthier and think it is good for the world. I disagree with the thought. For me, eating meat as a
protein
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 source is needed for metabolism. Humans are omnivores that need
protein
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 as an energy resource
besides
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 carbohydrates. And we still save the world by consuming non-abusive farm animal processing. On the one hand, meat and fish are good for
health
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 as they produce energy and build the body's muscles. Proteins are needed for metabolism and tissue regeneration. All the cells in human bodies are
aging
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ageing
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 and require rebuilding. Without
protein
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,
health
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 issues are coming in certain ways. Muscle and joint sores are the most common.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
protein
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 could be diverted into plant-based ones.
However
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, not all plant-based
protein
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 sources can be digested and absorbed well by humans' digestive systems. There are possibilities of getting hypersensitivity from grains
such
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 as soybeans that could impact the
health
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. In my opinion, varieties of
protein
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 sources are the best option for better
health
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. Even more, farm animals could produce nutrition for the soil and be used by the plants to grow. Both animals, plants, and humans are destined to live together. In conclusion, achieving a better world is not only about straining people from eating meat and fish. We need many kinds of
protein
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 sources to be healthier. As human beings, we have to be wise in using and reproducing either animal or plant resources to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 life's needs. Non-abusive slaughtering houses and organic planting should be supervised by the government.
Submitted by l.cahyatrianti on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, you could discuss nutritional values or studies comparing vegetarians and non-vegetarians.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use linking words to enhance cohesion such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', 'On the contrary', etc.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear and concise introduction that sets the context of the essay effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
The response covers the task well and addresses both views, offering your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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