Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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The line graph compares the consumption of fish and various types of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of beef, lamb and fish gradually decreased,
while
Linking Words
eating chicken has rapidly risen. As the line chart shows, the amount of fish remained
continual
Correct word choice
constant
show examples
at approximately 50
grams
Use synonyms
since
Change preposition
from
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1979 to 2004.
Where as
Correct your spelling
Whereas
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the tendency of lamb and beef stayed similar in the time period.
Then
Linking Words
lamb started declining from 150
grams
Use synonyms
to about 50
grams
Use synonyms
over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
25 years. Though eating beef had grown smaller over 250
grams
Use synonyms
in 1979.
This
Linking Words
food fell to 100
grams
Use synonyms
in 2004, but it hasn't changed.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the chicken which was consumed by people per week, made dozens of changes. Regarding hens, in 1979 it was 150
grams
Use synonyms
, but
then
Linking Words
it had
Verb problem
they
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dramatically
grown up
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
to year of 2004,
made a peak
Wrong verb form
peaking
show examples
at 250
grams
Use synonyms
between 1979 and 2004, respectively.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Work on clearly stating the task and ensure that you are addressing all parts of it. This means clearly connecting your points with the idea of what can be done about deforestation, as that was the original question prompt you provided, not a description of meat consumption.
coherence cohesion
Focus on providing a clearer structure in your essay, including a more defined introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence and cohesion. This will help tie your arguments together logically.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to provide a structured analysis with an overview and body paragraphs.
task achievement
The use of comparative language to analyze the data is a good attempt at coherent expression of changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • sustainable living
  • ecosystem balance
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • illegal logging
  • land clearing
  • afforestation
  • reforestation
  • agroforestry
  • conservation efforts
  • economic incentives
  • technological innovations
  • forest management
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