Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#deforestation #activity #parts #world #results #environment #support

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The line graph compares the consumption of fish and various types of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

Overall

Linking Words

, the consumption of beef, lamb and fish gradually decreased,

while

Linking Words

eating chicken has rapidly risen. As the line chart shows, the amount of fish remained

continual

Correct word choice

constant

show examples

at approximately 50

grams

Use synonyms

since

Change preposition

from

show examples

1979 to 2004.

Where as

Correct your spelling

Whereas

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the tendency of lamb and beef stayed similar in the time period.

Then

Linking Words

lamb started declining from 150

grams

Use synonyms

to about 50

grams

Use synonyms

over

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

25 years. Though eating beef had grown smaller over 250

grams

Use synonyms

in 1979.

This

Linking Words

food fell to 100

grams

Use synonyms

in 2004, but it hasn't changed.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the chicken which was consumed by people per week, made dozens of changes. Regarding hens, in 1979 it was 150

grams

Use synonyms

, but

then

Linking Words

it had

Verb problem

they

show examples

dramatically

grown up

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

to year of 2004,

made a peak

Wrong verb form

peaking

show examples

at 250

grams

Use synonyms

between 1979 and 2004, respectively.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed Jan 22 2025

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task achievement

Work on clearly stating the task and ensure that you are addressing all parts of it. This means clearly connecting your points with the idea of what can be done about deforestation, as that was the original question prompt you provided, not a description of meat consumption.

coherence cohesion

Focus on providing a clearer structure in your essay, including a more defined introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence and cohesion. This will help tie your arguments together logically.

coherence cohesion

The essay attempts to provide a structured analysis with an overview and body paragraphs.

task achievement

The use of comparative language to analyze the data is a good attempt at coherent expression of changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

153 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

deforestation
sustainable living
ecosystem balance
legislation
enforcement
illegal logging
land clearing
afforestation
reforestation
agroforestry
conservation efforts
economic incentives
technological innovations
forest management

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Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Children are facing more problem nowadays from academy, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what am I should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements?

Nowadays schools should not use textbooks because children get bored with books. Using games, computers and TV is a better way to give them new information and knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world developed rapidly through telecommunication and air travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?