ChatGPT Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities.

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Obesity
among youngsters has increased and spread in recent years, without a doubt. The
school
should participate by having the administration play a role in reducing the largest number of
obesity
cases, which can be accomplished by increasing
children
's participation in
school
festivals and outdoor activities.
While
it is widely believed that the goal of
schools
is to focus on
children
's performance.
Obesity
among
children
is an important topic for discussion and analysis. In my opinion,
schools
can control rising
obesity
rates and seek to lower them through a variety of efficient strategies.
To begin
with, there are vast methods that can work effectively to reduce the numbers of
obesity
among
children
. First of all,
schools
could provide compulsory
sports
classes, which will make the
children
marked and graded based on their performance.
Furthermore
,
schools
could make competitions among
children
that may attract them to participate in it.
In other words
, if there is a reward for the
children
who win in a competition,
this
will promote the challenge and motivate
children
to participate.
For example
, my young sister participated in a running competition at her
school
, and the winner got a trophy as a reward. Another point to consider is the necessity of having a society without
obesity
, which is a significant thing that should focus on from the
school
side and the parent side alike.
Moreover
, doubtfully,
children
spend most of their time at
school
, and by
this
,
schools
influence their needs and demands by keeping the
sports
part of
children
's lives. Ultimately, providing
sports
lessons and sessions for
children
in the
school
should encourage their parents to motivate their
children
to participate in those lessons. In conclusion, despite having different views. I believe that encouraging the
children
to participate in the
sports
sessions at the
school
will impact their health in a positive way for the future.
Submitted by walkuwari11 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs with more linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly contributes to building your overall argument, with clear transitions between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, like your sister's participation in a running competition, helps to illustrate your points effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task fully, providing thoughtful analysis and constructive suggestions for reducing child obesity through school involvement.

Your opinion

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