IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matter that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decision #matter
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There is a different
insghts
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insights
 between families
while
Linking Words
 they
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 their children. The
parnets
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parents
 on the right hand who they are
see
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seeing
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 that if they let their
child
Use synonyms
taking
Verb problem
make
show examples
 his own choices in almost everything in his life
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time they believe that will make the
child
Use synonyms
 when he
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
 up can
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 a
responsebility
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responsibility
in
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to
show examples
 tough choices and can handle the pressure of life because
this
Linking Words
instict
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instinct
 is
emmersed
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immersed
 inside him since his childhood.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the people who think
this
Linking Words
 will
made
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make
be made
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 the
child
Use synonyms
 a selfish person when he
grow
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grows
show examples
 up and he will be thinking that the world should be around
himself
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
 and all humans have obligations towards him and
this
Linking Words
 is the result of the free wishes and
discions
Correct your spelling
discussions
 from his father and mother. In the end, My opinion is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 balance is the correct call in
this
Linking Words
 situation
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the parents let their
child
Use synonyms
 make choices
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time they should watch the
child
Use synonyms
 and if the choice is wrong they make him understand and if there
no
Add a missing verb
are no
show examples
 hard
consqences
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consequences
 they give him the freedom of choice. all
this
Linking Words
 should
under
Add a missing verb
be under
show examples
Correct article usage
the controll
show examples
controll
Correct your spelling
control
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 parents.
Submitted by Mohammed on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly introduced and concluded the discussion topic.
task achievement
Both perspectives are discussed, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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