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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Zoos are seen as important institutions for the conservation of wildlife and for educating the public about animals. Do you think it is important for children to visit zoos? Do you think children should learn about animals through zoos rather than other sources such as documentaries or books?

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Zoos
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 are viewed as crucial places for protecting and preserving wildlife and raising awareness among people. In my opinion, it is essential for
children
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 to make regular visits to
zoos
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 to become more responsible toward
animals
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 and be more knowledgeable.
However
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,
this
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 is not the only way for them to learn about
animals
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, as they can
also
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 acquire information from
books
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 and documentaries.
Firstly
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, when
children
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 are given a chance to see
animals
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 firsthand, they become more careful towards them.
In other words
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, when
children
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 are educated about
animals
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 and their vital role in the world, many will abandon the idea of hunting endangered species to help prevent their extinction.
For instance
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,
children
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 who have seen
animals
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 in
zoos
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 and understand why those
animals
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 are kept in cages often feel pity for them and contribute to providing for their needs. Another benefit of
children
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 visiting
zoos
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 is that it offers an opportunity for interactive learning. One clear example is hands-on experiences,
such
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 as feeding or observing
animals
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, which can be more engaging than
books
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 or videos. To put it simply, connecting emotionally and physically with
animals
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 has a unique effect on
children
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, as it allows them to empathize with the
animals
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' sensations.
In addition
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,
children
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 can imagine themselves locked up inside those cages, deepening their understanding of the animal's dilemma.
Finally
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, in my view,
zoos
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 are not the only places that can help
children
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 learn about
animals
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.
That is
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 to say,
books
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as well as
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 documentaries are valid sources for educating
children
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. To illustrate, those who are homebodies or particularly interested in
books
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 may find them more intriguing than being outdoors, walking around a place where they do not feel comfortable.
Therefore
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, they may not pay attention or show any interest during a visit to the zoo.
To sum up
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,
zoos
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 can help
children
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 learn about
animals
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 and shape them into individuals who care for wildlife.
Nevertheless
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, to gain a deeper understanding of the animal kingdom, they can
also
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 read
books
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 and watch documentaries.

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general
Consider providing more diverse examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows to the next for enhanced coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear and effective introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The major points in the essay are well-supported with examples and reasoning.
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