IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

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Nowadays, many
people
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 do not know each other in neighbourhoods.
While
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 it is because everyone is busy with their jobs or studies, I believe that organizing weekly events for
neighbours
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 can be done to make them familiar with each other. In
this
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 fast-paced world, many reasons contribute to the unfamiliarity among
neighbours
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.
People
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 have jobs and studies. Every single day, we all are busy, from morning to evening we spend time in our workplaces or learning centres. After that, we do not have the willingness to spend time with
neighbours
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, or even with family members.
This
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 may be because of social media which has an effect on our
lives
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. We often prefer to spend time on those social networks where we feel relaxed somehow.
Additionally
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, those websites are reducing face-to-face interactions with
people
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, as they provide an opportunity to communicate through our phones and other devices.
That is
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 why we do not communicate or even know our next-door
neighbours
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. Even though our busy
lives
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 and social media platforms make us distant from each other, there is a single possible solution to
this
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. Organizing weekly events for
neighbours
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 can be a great way to get
people
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 together. Every week,
for example
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 on Sundays
people
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 should gather together. Everyone can bring something to eat and communicate together.
Besides
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, just drinking tea or coffee together can create better
relationships
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 and strengthen bonds between
people
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 in a neighbourhood. Those
relationships
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 can be beneficial for all of them when they need help.
For example
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, if an old person,
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lives
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
show examples
 in a neighbourhood and does not have any relatives, is sick,
neighbours
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 can help as they know that person does not have someone to help.
Thus
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,
relationships
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 between
neighbours
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 are essential. In conclusion,
while
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 busy
lives
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 can lead
people
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 to not communicate with others in a neighbourhood, I believe that gathering together once a week can help to build
relationships
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 with
people
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 who can help each other in tough times.

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task achievement
Try to offer more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, which can help improve your task achievement score.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is clearly stated, setting the essay up well for the rest of the content.
task achievement
You provided a clear solution to the problem discussed, which shows good task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces the argument presented in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community engagement
  • social isolation
  • neighborhood watch
  • local initiatives
  • virtual interaction
  • privacy concerns
  • resident mobility
  • technological advancements
  • social media influence
  • work-life balance
  • busy personal schedules
  • community events
  • local residents
  • social interaction
  • community ties
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