IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbors
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 do not know each other in neighbourhoods.
While
Linking Words
 it is because everyone is busy with their jobs or studies, I believe that organizing weekly events for
neighbours
Use synonyms
 can be done to make them familiar with each other. In
this
Linking Words
 fast-paced world, many reasons contribute to the unfamiliarity among
neighbours
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 have jobs and studies. Every single day, we all are busy, from morning to evening we spend time in our workplaces or learning centres. After that, we do not have the willingness to spend time with
neighbours
Use synonyms
, or even with family members.
This
Linking Words
 may be because of social media which has an effect on our
lives
Use synonyms
. We often prefer to spend time on those social networks where we feel relaxed somehow.
Additionally
Linking Words
, those websites are reducing face-to-face interactions with
people
Use synonyms
, as they provide an opportunity to communicate through our phones and other devices.
That is
Linking Words
 why we do not communicate or even know our next-door
neighbours
Use synonyms
. Even though our busy
lives
Use synonyms
 and social media platforms make us distant from each other, there is a single possible solution to
this
Linking Words
. Organizing weekly events for
neighbours
Use synonyms
 can be a great way to get
people
Use synonyms
 together. Every week,
for example
Linking Words
 on Sundays
people
Use synonyms
 should gather together. Everyone can bring something to eat and communicate together.
Besides
Linking Words
, just drinking tea or coffee together can create better
relationships
Use synonyms
 and strengthen bonds between
people
Use synonyms
 in a neighbourhood. Those
relationships
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial for all of them when they need help.
For example
Linking Words
, if an old person,
Use synonyms
lives
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
show examples
 in a neighbourhood and does not have any relatives, is sick,
neighbours
Use synonyms
 can help as they know that person does not have someone to help.
Thus
Linking Words
,
relationships
Use synonyms
 between
neighbours
Use synonyms
 are essential. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 busy
lives
Use synonyms
 can lead
people
Use synonyms
 to not communicate with others in a neighbourhood, I believe that gathering together once a week can help to build
relationships
Use synonyms
 with
people
Use synonyms
 who can help each other in tough times.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to offer more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, which can help improve your task achievement score.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is clearly stated, setting the essay up well for the rest of the content.
task achievement
You provided a clear solution to the problem discussed, which shows good task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces the argument presented in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • community engagement
  • social isolation
  • neighborhood watch
  • local initiatives
  • virtual interaction
  • privacy concerns
  • resident mobility
  • technological advancements
  • social media influence
  • work-life balance
  • busy personal schedules
  • community events
  • local residents
  • social interaction
  • community ties
What to do next:
Look at other essays: