IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kind of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004 .

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kind of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004 .
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The line graph gives information about
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of meat and
seameat
Correct your spelling
sea meat
 in a European country between 1979 and 2004 . Units are measured in grams.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the consumption of beef and lamb decreased over the period given ,
while
Linking Words
 for chicken
icreased
Correct your spelling
increased
.
Linking Words
While
Change preposition
During
show examples
 these years , fish stayed steady . At the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
 of the period , beef was the most used but , by the end ,
chicken
Add an article
the chicken
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 was most popular . With the regard amount of beef
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
used , it began
with
Change preposition
at
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 210 and peaked at 240 in 1984 and
falled
Correct your spelling
fell
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 dramatically to about over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
100 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
 , 150
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lamb eaten in the first
year
Use synonyms
 , after which the figure fluctuated slightly and decreased to a low of about 80 in the final
year
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , chicken was the third with beyond 150 , after which the figure
swing
Wrong verb form
swung
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 a little and increased to a top of 250 in the final
year
Use synonyms
 . The consumption of fish
used
Verb problem
was
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 about over 50 ,
while
Linking Words
 these years it was eaten a little and decreased to beyond 50 in 2004 .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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