Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In present times, an increasing proportion of individuals with diseases are trying different medicines and treatments rather than checking in with their usual doctors. As far as I am concerned, I totally think
that is
a negative development, Linking Words
due to
the fact that it might be misleading in choosing treatments and is non-preventive against Linking Words
viruses
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, if individuals tend to purchase medicaments based on their own view or a view given by another person, they might likely have some Linking Words
possibilities
of making misleading choices. To illustrate that, we have a boy, Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
Joe
. Use synonyms
Joe
was visiting his doctor, and the doctor said that he should take paracetamol to prevent illness; Use synonyms
however
, Linking Words
Joe
wants to overcome the disease in his own way. He went to the local pharmacy and bought not paracetamol, but amoxicillin. Use synonyms
Afterward
, his disease increased much more. I mean, Change the spelling
Afterwards
that is
the common way how people end up losing their confidence.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, the wrong medicine can break your immune system, which causes your body to respond poorly to threatening Linking Words
viruses
. It is the worst thing that can occur in a humanUse synonyms
,
because you literally cannot be secure from Remove the comma
apply
viruses
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
Joe
drank those amoxicillin pills, and his immune system was disabled and could not protect him from Use synonyms
viruses
. After some days, Use synonyms
Joe
felt pain, and when he had an MRI, the result was cancer.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, I believe that visiting your usual doctor is the best way to prevent yourself from many more diseases. As I noted earlier, it is because of the misleading choices involved, and because you might take pills that do worse harm.Linking Words
Submitted by kazymbekov2007kg1 on
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task achievement
Strengthen your examples with more details and varied scenarios, demonstrating the broader implications of the issue. Try to include more concrete evidence or statistics that could better support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This can help in maintaining the reader's flow of thought and improving clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and reinforcing the main argument.
task achievement
The main points about misleading treatment choices and effects on the immune system are well-articulated, showing a clear understanding of potential risks.
coherence cohesion
The structure follows a logical progression, moving from problem identification to examples and ending with a strong conclusion.