Question: Many people today are worried about cybercrime chess hacking and identity theft. What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

#people #cybercrime #chess #identity #theft #business

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Nowadays, lots of people are concerned about online hacking and identity stealing.

This

Linking Words

may lead to problems

such

Linking Words

as people's personal information being stolen. Action must be taken like installing developed security systems.

This

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essay will dive in depth

Change preposition

into

show examples

this

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topic. Cybercrime

cause

Replace the word

causes

show examples

devastating problems and its consequences cannot be underestimated.

This

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issue can even take

Change the article

show examples

innocent person to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

court since hackers are stealing their identity numbers and

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crimes or even spending their money .

For instance

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, recently on the news, there were

cybercrime

Correct article usage

a cybercrime

show examples

group that stole

personal

Add an article

the personal

show examples

information of an elderly woman

such

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as her bank

account's

Change noun form

account

show examples

password. Even though

this

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was an unwanted event for the lady, it seemed like everything went

with

Change preposition

show examples

her

willing

Replace the word

will

show examples

Thus

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, it was harder to identify the hackers and take back the money. To prevent

this

Linking Words

issue, citizens should have advanced technological security programmes.

Moreover

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, business

administers

Replace the word

administrators

show examples

should be more careful since the consequences of even a small hacking action can cause detrimental results for the company and the company's reputation. So, in terms of achieving

this

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, a high budget is necessary. Government awareness of

this

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problem and their help is another crucial aspect. If they can be involved, it would be beneficial for everyone.

Also

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, punishments can be more cruel to scare the cybercrime groups. In conclusion,

cyberhacking

Correct your spelling

cyber hacking

show examples

is one of the biggest

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

world. It may cause disasters in a person's life.

However

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, with the right precautions

this

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can be prevented.

Submitted by gonulsimge29 on Fri Jan 24 2025

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coherence-and-cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within a paragraph contribute to the development of the central idea.

task-achievement

Include more specific examples to thoroughly demonstrate and support your ideas.

coherence-and-cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases to maintain reader engagement. Find various ways to express your points to keep the essay interesting.

coherence-and-cohesion

The essay introduces the topic effectively and concludes with a clear summary of the main points.

task-achievement

The response adequately addresses the question, identifying both problems and solutions related to cybercrime.

coherence-and-cohesion

The essay presents logical connections between the problems of cybercrime and potential solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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Question: Many people today are worried about cybercrime chess hacking and identity theft. What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some people believe the best way to tackle pollution is by paying tax others disagree. discuss both views and state your opinion

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?