Question: Many people today are worried about cybercrime chess hacking and identity theft. What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

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Nowadays, lots of people are concerned about online hacking and identity stealing.
This
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may lead to problems
such
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as people's personal information being stolen. Action must be taken like installing developed security systems.
This
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essay will dive in depth
to
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into
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this
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topic. Cybercrime
cause
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causes
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devastating problems and its consequences cannot be underestimated.
This
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issue can even take
a
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an
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innocent person to
a
Correct article usage
apply
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court since hackers are stealing their identity numbers and
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crimes or even spending their money .
For instance
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, recently on the news, there were
cybercrime
Correct article usage
a cybercrime
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group that stole
personal
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the personal
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information of an elderly woman
such
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as her bank
account's
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account
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password. Even though
this
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was an unwanted event for the lady, it seemed like everything went
with
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to
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her
willing
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will
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.
Thus
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, it was harder to identify the hackers and take back the money. To prevent
this
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issue, citizens should have advanced technological security programmes.
Moreover
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, business
administers
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administrators
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should be more careful since the consequences of even a small hacking action can cause detrimental results for the company and the company's reputation. So, in terms of achieving
this
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, a high budget is necessary. Government awareness of
this
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problem and their help is another crucial aspect. If they can be involved, it would be beneficial for everyone.
Also
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, punishments can be more cruel to scare the cybercrime groups. In conclusion,
cyberhacking
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cyber hacking
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is one of the biggest
problem
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problems
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in
todays
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today's
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world. It may cause disasters in a person's life.
However
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, with the right precautions
this
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can be prevented.
Submitted by gonulsimge29 on

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coherence-and-cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within a paragraph contribute to the development of the central idea.
task-achievement
Include more specific examples to thoroughly demonstrate and support your ideas.
coherence-and-cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases to maintain reader engagement. Find various ways to express your points to keep the essay interesting.
coherence-and-cohesion
The essay introduces the topic effectively and concludes with a clear summary of the main points.
task-achievement
The response adequately addresses the question, identifying both problems and solutions related to cybercrime.
coherence-and-cohesion
The essay presents logical connections between the problems of cybercrime and potential solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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